How to maintain thriving relationships

ºHaving thriving relationships is the most joyful, life-giving and the most challenging task on earth. Spouses can be in conflict and uncertain why. Parents love their children even when they get on their last nerve. Friends and co-workers bicker but cannot identify the source of their conflict. Thankfully throughout the Bible there are models to emulate, examples to avoid and principles to apply that can cause your relationships to thrive. One example comes from Romans 12:10b, CSB, which says, "Take the lead in honoring one another." I want to share four condensed principles from this verse.

First, the thriving relationship you want requires your initiative. Nothing in life happens automatically. You have to take action. For example, my teenage children will stand in front of a full refrigerator basking glow in the light looking for the ready-made plate they will never find. They must take initiative to find the snack they want. Likewise, the relationships of your dreams require your initiation. Make the first move, then the next, and on and on.

Second, thriving relationships require actions. Initiative is making the move, actions are the moves that are made. Thriving relationships are action-oriented. Amazingly, when you act loving toward another you feel more love for them. Your attitude will follow your actions. The opposite is also true. Never underestimate the power actions hold over your attitude.

Third, practice giving honor. You and they are honorable simply based on the truth that all are made in the image of God. Giving honor recognizes the value you hold towards another. Honor is given to God, to your parents, to those who serve well, and to your spouse. To practice giving honor is taking actions to demonstrate how valuable they are to you.

Fourth, begin in the mirror. The "one another" of Romans 12 starts with you and spreads out like the ripples of a stone dropped in a pond. When you honor yourself, you act more honoring to others. Like the stone dropped in the pond, the most substantial ripples are closest to the drop zone. In other words, the closer someone is to you, the more honor they should be given.

Thriving relationships are challenging but not impossible. The more you invest in them, the greater they thrive -- your aim to outdo each other in showing honor.