Honey attracts while vinegar repels

"Well, my dear, how are you today?" A musical voice echoed in the distance. Lisa turned around, quickly, to see who the well-wisher might be. A good friend of Lisa's, Jenny, came up from behind her. Jenny always had a smile and a cheerful word, for almost everyone, and today was no exception. Lisa and Jenny had known each other for years and the friendship was important to Lisa. Jenny was one of those people that drew others toward her like honey attracts flies.

My mother frequently told my siblings and me that "Yes, friends were nice to have, but it was family that would be there when you needed them." Because I grew up hearing those words, I was cautious regarding the amount of trust that I placed in people outside the family unit. Perspectives were different during my mom's era, and consequently as I grew and matured, I questioned her words. Perhaps it is because of our extremely mobile society, presently, that we must learn to depend on people outside our family. Family is indeed, of the upmost value, but few can live alone with only family. There are many factors that play a part in why--such as the mobility of people, the distance away from family members and other similar conditions that might exist.

As I listened to and meditated on the greeting from Jenny, I began to wonder what it was that she added to my life. My mind swung back and forth, like a pendulum. Whatever it was, it was well worth my knowing. It takes time and experience to learn the benefits of friendships, but nurturing and valuing our relationships with those with which we interact, is worth our every effort. Until we are faced with a dilemma or a sudden change in our lives, we cannot, always recognize and appreciate the love extended by others. We take them for granted. One seldom misses what he has until it's gone from his life. So many blessing pass us by without our realizing that the gold was already in our hands--that the worthwhile treasures were in our lives already. Whether family is close by or not, friends are a needed and welcome source of hope and survival.

"What did Jenny have that attracted me to her?" The first quality that I noticed, was the characteristic of sameness. She isn't boring by any stretch, but she is always pleasant. She doesn't necessarily conceal her emotions, but she always greets another person with a smile. Jenny causes everyone, with whom she comes into contact, to feel like he's the most special being around. She praises rather than criticizes and doesn't pry into private areas of someone, unless he/she wants to share. Jenny and I exchange stories, comfort one another and encourage our every step forward that we make. She is a healing balm. Jenny is like an old pair of shoes...

Contrary to Jenney is another friend that I care for, but after leaving her presence, I am anything but uplifted. Rather, I am drained within. Knowing her effect on my spirits I've recognized that we need to seek out and mainly associate with those that invigorate and encourage us. Like honey, they sweeten our journey. I remembered a proverb that my mom used to recite whenever my siblings and I were being rude and mean. "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar," she would say. We cringed and held our ears when she turned her back. Whenever I encounter someone that is cantankerous and negative most of the time, I pity them, and especially remember to dis-allow their complaints to affect my mood. Small doses of vinegar are easier to digest than large ones. Everybody has to interact with those that can sour our attitude, but we must curb the association in order to preserve our perspectives and mental health. Although we need be kind, we have to realize our limits when interacting with such individuals.

Kindness towards others draws out the best in them. "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother "(Proverbs 18:24).