Good gets good and bad gets bad

Feb. 2, 2006

Dear Leslie,

A boy I'll call Carson has endured and seen abominations in his short life. I can't tell you about them because of school confidentiality rules. It's enough to know that Carson came to Blanchard Elementary School a very angry boy, and the turmoil in his life had put his education on hold.

This is a common scenario at countless schools around the country. Countless troubled children get lost, spend their school years getting into worse and worse trouble before eventually getting locked up and given up on.

But the foyer in Blanchard School and the school's stationery proclaims it's "The school with a heart." On the front door students are greeted by the words, "Enter with a happy heart."

Carson needs lots of love.

I used to think being a journalist was mission enough for anyone's life, that the substantial possibilities the job offers to do good in the world meant I didn't need anything else. The rest of my time could be devoted to family, friends, golf, music, movies, perhaps seeing a part of the world once in awhile.

Lately I've yearned to know what else might give my life more meaning.

Our friend Gail, who teaches at the school, thinks I might benefit from helping her students. It's hard to argue with someone who spends her days teaching a roomful of Carsons.

Carson used to think being bad was good, but the rule in Gail's room is "Good gets good and bad gets bad." The words are written on the wall and reinforced at every turn.

I went to the school one morning last week. Carson loves sports, so we read a book about a grandmother who plays football. Rather, I read and Carson listened. He's catching up on his reading skills. Afterward he went on a computer and took a five-question test on his comprehension. He missed only one.

Yesterday I returned to the school. This time Carson read to me, a book about a dog almost everybody thought was dumb. The patience of someone who believed he wasn't dumb led Toby the dog to learn to "Sit." This time Carson answered all the questions right.

Gail introduced me to a boy I'll call Marcus for confidentiality's sake. Marcus told me about the abomination of his own early childhood, hurts many people would be afraid to touch if they had happened to them. But Marcus has learned how talking about his psychological and emotional wounds helps heal them. His courage was astounding.

He described how angry he used to be as if he couldn't believe it himself. That rage has been replaced by a smile illuminated by the untouched purity in his soul.

Gail says Marcus was much more angry than Carson ever was. Marcus told me he'd learned a very important lesson since his angry days. "Good gets good and bad gets bad," he said, hugging Gail.

Before my few minutes there were up and I left for work, Gail showed me a page from a book about daughters. The words could apply to any child an adult has given the gift of attention. "Take my love with you now and into the time that I will never know. It is as much a part of you as breath. Or your identity."

Supposedly I'm going to the school with a heart to help Carson. Somehow I suspect the heart to be filled up is my own.

Love, Sam

Sam Blackwell is managing editor of the Southeast Missourian.