Giving your all for God

"Hi Mom and Dad, guess what. I'm pregnant," said the young college girl. Lorie was a student at a local college, unmarried and living in the dorm. Her parents were beside themselves. Being traditional parents, they had plans for their daughter. The pregnancy scare, however, was false. Lorie had made failing grades and was placed on probation at school. She thought if she surprised her parents with more shocking news than bad grades they would be less upset. Her experiment worked. Her parents were so overjoyed she wasn't pregnant they eagerly forgave the failing grades.

After hearing the story, I reflected on what one could rightfully expect of children, spouses, job performance or relationships.

It seems that a common response to mediocrity is, "At least they tried." Lorie's parents gladly forgave her failing marks because they were so relieved that a worse scenario had not taken place. I never cease, when hearing such statements, to be puzzled. Where is the courage to stand up for what one believes in? Taking sides is neither judgmental nor controlling.

When children get into trouble, are disrespectful, goof off at school or commit immoral acts, parents make comments like, "At least he didn't drop out of school," "I hope the scrape with the police will be omitted from his permanent record," "Even though his homework was late, he/she finally handed it in" or "Pick your battles, let it go this time and save the big confrontation for what may come later."

When adults fail to perform a job well, we're prone to say "He has a lot on his mind," "He's always been like that" or "That task wasn't too important anyway."

During a recent trip I passed a well-ordered shed filled with hay. The bales of hay were stacked so neatly that on first glance I thought it was a tan painted wall of the building. The hay had been stored with painstaking precision. It could just as easily have been shoved into the structure with no order in mind. The sight would have been shoddy, and the hay probably would have deteriorated faster. Those who lined up the bales would have missed the joy and pride in what they accomplished. The laborers had taken great pains in their craft. It truly was a work of art. Again, I wondered how much exertion was too much while working, living or interacting with others.

Should we be satisfied if the children and adults within our circle of caring simply scrape by without doing their best? Or ought we to set high standards and expect them to be reached, at least in part? Can we afford to allow our children to cruise through life continually excusing themselves for unfinished or shabby jobs? Should we act pleased when the highly intelligent say to us, "Well, at least I graduated from high school" and still refuse to measure up to their abilities?

While it's true we can only change and control ourselves, is it asking too much to expect that certain criteria, standards, morals and actions be met? Even though Christ was nonjudgmental when he said to those who were about to stone a woman caught in adultery, "Let the person among you who is without sin cast the first stone" (John 8:7), he often became angered at injustice and disrespect, as when he chased the money changers from the temple (John 2: 13-16). He could have said, "It's none of my business; I don't need to get involved" and avoided the bother.

After further reflection, I recognized the solution to my confusion. "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men." Col. 3: 23-24. We should give everything we do our best effort, for we are working for God.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction and provides spiritual direction to people at her office.