Giving gratitude to God

This past week at church, I sat in my chair feeling overwhelmed by loss, stuck and sad. Nehemiah 8:10 was part of the reading: "Today is holy to our Lord. Do not be saddened this day; for rejoicing in the Lord must be your strength!"

These words met me exactly where I was, a reminder of who I am and who God is.

Our strength is in rejoicing in God and all he is, all he gives us. How much we have to be grateful for, free in and joyful about.

The verse from Nehemiah reminded me of Psalm 116:17. When I read this verse a few weeks back, the words "sacrifice of praise" really struck me as an oxymoron and didn't make sense in my mind.

Praise is supposed to be happy, loud, exalted, unburdened. People praise God when they are thankful for something.

Sacrifice, to me -- even though I know it is also a deep place of joy, fulfillment and petition -- also calls up connotations of sadness, giving things up and solemnity. It is hard -- read, not fun -- and in the traditional Biblical sense, atones for sins.

So what was the Psalmist talking about, juxtaposing those two words?

Putting it in the context of Nehemiah 8:10, of sadness being acknowledged, but choosing to trust and rejoice in God because this is what makes us strong, helped me understand what a "sacrifice of praise" might mean.

Maybe the sacrifice is that it takes all we are to say "thank you" when it is easier to dwell in sadness.

Maybe the sacrifice is placing our hope and trust in God when it feels like we have been let down and led astray.

Maybe the sacrifice is in lifting our eyes to him, in looking at him gazing upon us in love when we would rather look anywhere else.

Praising him when it's hard, when we don't want to, when we'd rather accuse him, withdraw from him, do anything else. Choosing to offer all our feelings to him followed by some form of a "thank you, you are good." A sacrifice of praise.

There was a program from Father Bill's funeral tucked in the pages of the hymnal I'd been handed as I walked into church.

As I read about his life, I remembered for the first time in a while one of the hallmarks of how he lived and what he taught me: Everything starts and comes from gratitude. I realized this was a moment to say thank you.

In Psalm 116, the Psalmist goes on to say, "I will offer a sacrifice of praise and call on the name of the Lord."

Today is holy to him. Let's call on the Lord, knowing he is already with us, in us, through us, all around us, and trusting him to make himself -- our strength -- known.