Getting old isn't fun

There are a few things in life that pretty much all of us have to go through: We have to be born, and we have to die. The length of time in between can be real short, or it can stretch on for a century plus a few years. I think the average lifespan in the U.S. is somewhere in the 70s. Some have a shorter lifespan because of accidents or sickness. Sometimes we shorten our lives or the lives of our friends by our poor choices and bad habits. When we start out, we are totally dependent on others for our existence. We depend on them for food and shelter and safety and on and on.

Somewhere in our teen years, we fly the coup and rely on ourselves. Oh, there are times when we lean on others, but normally we are independent. This is pretty much true for many decades. There are times when injuries or sickness render us dependent on others, but as a general rule we are self-reliant. But as we age, we go the other way. Little by little we begin to rely on our kids or friends or helping organizations or even the government for help.

Up to a few years ago, Marge and I could do about anything we wanted. This has slowly dwindled. We have a small shed that is just beginning to leak and needs a new roof. Even 10 years ago that would have been a snap. I'm thinking about getting the materials and calling our boys for help. Normally, we cut and haul our own firewood. I thought about having a wood-cutting weekend, where we call in the boys and cut and split firewood. Our garden is considerably smaller this year, and plans are that next year's will be miniscule in comparison. It isn't that we are sick or broken down, its just old age creeping up on us both.

We've watched dear friends get to the place they can't live alone and are being forced into a nursing home. I've visited in most every nursing home in our area, and I've made it plain which one I would like to end up in if the need arises. Old age is a blessing, but at the same time it's difficult. And as I thought about old age, the hardest part for me and I think others is losing their independence. Instead of being independent, now we need to rely on others.

Willie, a good friend who is long gone, told me about the time he decided to not drive again. He knew he wasn't a safe driver, so instead of endangering others, he gave up driving. And I know for me one of these days, hopefully years from now, I'll hopefully have the wherewithal to give my pickup keys to Marge or one of our boys and let them drive me. I want to make that decision and not force them to make it for me. I remember when I got my driver's license back in Nebraska and what a joy, but what freedom it gave me. To lose that freedom is a downer.

As we age, some decisions we can make now while we can will make a difference later. Years ago we bought our final resting spot in the cemetery here in Scott City. We went the other day and looked at a stone to be placed on our cemetery plots. Talk to a lawyer you trust and have them help you with your estate and final wishes. Find someone you trust, and not necessarily kinfolk, to help you keep a handle on your finances, your health and personal decisions if you become incapacitated. Make lists of your keepsakes. Years ago I sat down and made a list of what I wanted done with some of my personal items that mean a lot to me. Put some history down on the personal keepsakes.

It's easy to put off and keep putting it on the back burner. Don't put it off. Talk to your pastor. He's walked this path many times.