Fourth-grader talks turkey

Our fourth-grader defines "thankful" as turkey.

Bailey even spells it out for those who fail to grasp the sheer "Thanksgiving" of eating a plate of turkey.

"T stands for turkey," she proudly proclaims. "H -- Happiness is turkey. A -- A good turkey dinner. N -- Nice turkey dinner. K -- Know how to cook turkey. F -- For turkey. U -- Use an Oven. L -- Love turkey."

You've got to hand it to her. She knows how to get the most out of "thankful."

She even managed to offer a cooking tip.

I suppose we could cook it over an open fire, but it would take a whole lot longer.

Of course, some people fry their turkeys. That often leads to an open fire which burns down their house and chars the holiday meal.

For that reason alone, it is best to follow Bailey's advice and use an oven.

For Bailey, there's no better reason for the Thanksgiving holiday than the joy of eating turkey.

I'm sure the turkeys don't share that joy. But, hey, no holiday's perfect.

Thanksgiving is viewed as the one truly American holiday. That's not surprising. We can't imagine celebrating any holiday without a ton of food.

But we really focus on chowing down on Thanksgiving. Americans consume more than 675 million pounds of turkey on Thanksgiving Day. We stuff the turkey and our stomachs. Then we reach for the Tums.

And we do all of this because our ancestors were really hungry and decided to celebrate the fall harvest in New England in 1621. Besides, no one delivered pizzas back then.

Of course, the pilgrims would be amazed at what's on our Thanksgiving tables.

Historians say they weren't gobbling up pumpkin pie or consuming mashed potatoes.

The only two items that historians are certain were on the menu were venison and wild fowl.

Back then, Thanksgiving was a messy event.

Pilgrims didn't use forks. They ate with spoons, knives and their fingers. Some children today would be right at home with that custom.

Back then, people didn't sample everything on the table. People typically ate what was closest to them.

Imagine if we did that today? Some of us would end up dining only on sweet potatoes.

In a pilgrim household, the adults sat down to eat and the children served them.

That custom has long since vanished. Most of us would starve if we had to wait on our children to bring the food to the table.

Some turkeys are lucky. They don't end up on the dinner menu thanks to a presidential pardon.

The National Turkey Federation annually gives a live turkey to the nation's president. Since 1947, presidents have pardoned the gift turkeys and allowed them to retire with all their feathers.

But if Ben Franklin had had his way, none of us probably would be eating turkey.

Franklin suggested making it the national bird rather than the bald eagle.

Had that happened, turkeys would have become popular college mascots.

None of this really matters to our teenage daughter, Becca. She prefers to dine on chicken nuggets no matter how thankful she is.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.