Finding wholeness in God

By Mia Pohlman

My friend recently sent me a quote from social researcher Hugh Mackay's book "The Good Life": "The idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness ... We're kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position ... Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure."

In response to this quote, I've been thinking about how much value I give to happiness, and how I often view it as a right instead of as a gift that is temporarily mine. Often I pursue happiness as my goal instead of pursuing God. I think happiness will fulfill me, or that something or someone that brings me happiness will, when in truth God is the only one capable of fulfilling me fully. God is the only one with whom I can find the security and permanence I long for.

From a young age, our culture tells us our job will fulfill us when we're adults. We ask our children what they want to "be" when they grow up. In the wording of this question, we ingrain the idea in our children that your job is your identity, and this identity is what should bring you happiness. We do the same thing with marriage, so that when we as adults aren't happy all the time in our job or marriage, it's easy to think we've chosen wrongly and should seek a different job or partner who will fulfill us and bring us the constant happiness we "ought" to be getting from our occupation or partner.

But our job or another person is never meant to fully satisfy us, because they're not the purpose of life -- God is. Sure, it is a beautiful thing when our job or significant other brings us happiness and fulfillment, and we should enjoy that happiness to the fullest in the moment it is ours. But I think it is damaging and ultimately empty to seek our identity in our job, marriage or happiness, because our full identity is seen only when we look into the face of our creator, in whose image we're made.

Our job, marriage and other roles we live are ways of giving ourselves to the world in order to build God's kingdom on earth. They're not what we are; they're what we do and how we live out the love we've received from God. What we are is God's, and as God's, we know everything we experience is a gift given to us to draw us more deeply into God. This includes the whole range of our emotions, not just ones that are pleasant to experience.

We know that as God's we can trust he will bring good out of everything we experience. It's up to us to hold it all with open hands, allowing God to be part of the whole range of our emotions, realizing the feelings we have are not the point, but the way they draw us and others to God and the wholeness God gives to us, is.