Father's Day thoughts

By Jeff Long

Dads fill several necessary roles, but one of the bullet points in our job description is that of defender. We defend our children. When that defense becomes excessive, we become helicopter parents, hovering over our children, fearful of any misstep and, without realizing it, we effectively hobble our kids for life.

If we can avoid that overreach, there are still times dads step up for their kids. They don their metaphorical shield and wade into the fray. Fathers come to the rescue. I have not had to become superdad very often, but there have been moments.

When the neighbor boy begins directing profanities at your teenage daughter, a dad might be tempted to let it go once -- in the hopes the encounter was a one-time issue, never to be repeated.

But if it does reoccur, dads cannot remain on the sidelines. We become the child's advocate. The cloak of protection wraps around the issue of our bodies, the growing one who bears our surname. Dads defend. They protect.

The truth is, though, we can never turn off the switch of defense, protection and advocacy. Knowing that, perhaps we can give Dan Turner a bit of a break.

Dan Turner is the Midwestern dad who wrote an impassioned letter to a judge begging for leniency for his son, Brock. Brock Turner, a student at Stanford University, was convicted of a 2015 sexual assault. For those who may have been out of the country the past few weeks, the guilty verdict in this celebrated case resulted in a sentence of just six months for the 20-year-old student-athlete. He'll probably serve only three months. Brock Turner raped an unconscious co-ed near a Dumpster and was tackled by two other students when he tried to flee. The usual sentence for such a crime is six to 14 years in prison.

No matter what, dads leap to protect. Dan Turner did so. In the course of a long missive to Judge Aaron Persky, the father wrote about how it was a mistake to allow Brock to go to Stanford. He wrote about what happens when some young men, separated from their support system of home and lifelong friends, fall into an alcohol-fueled party atmosphere, in the search for companions. It was the following two sentences, however, that has engendered Dan "Dad" Turner near-universal condemnation: "His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve. That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20-plus years of life."

The "20 minutes of action" phrase is incredibly insensitive to the victim, whom dad never mentions in his plea. He should have had someone proof his draft before allowing this to be aired in court. Stupid is the kindest thing that can be said about that phrase. But Brock Turner isn't my son. And he's not yours. If he was your son, found guilty of something so incredibly vile, would you abandon him to mercies of the judge? Or would you pull out all the stops, as his father, to defend, to protect, to advocate?

I recently told a congregation whom I am about to serve as pastor that if given a choice between compassion and justice, I will lean toward compassion. Not everyone likes that. I'm persuaded that my stance is on pretty solid ground. The man so many of us look to as our savior got railroaded in a sham trial and for a crime he did not commit. Jesus of Nazareth got no justice -- and more to the point, his words show he wasn't looking for any: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Call Dan "Dad" Turner stupid. Call him a helicopter parent. Call him insensitive. Call him loathsome. All those things may well be true. But he stood up for his boy, a boy who did a terrible thing that he'll carry for the rest of his life. He defended, he advocated, he protected. That's what dads do. Maybe he deserves a bit of break. Brock Turner isn't your son.

Happy Father's Day to all.