Everybody deserves to be loved

"I could never love someone like him/her, one might say. If you only knew them, you couldn't find anything to love about them, either," and someone verbalizes the person's negative qualities.

How should we look at those who, more often than not, perform undesirable actions or say mean words? Someone we know may be guilty of immorality, and that may be forbidden in our moral vocabulary. Again, we proclaim, "I don't even like the person, so how can I possibly love him/her?"

There is a difference between liking and loving.

Let me give you an example of someone who fit the mold of what I'm trying to say. I had an uncle who failed to fit the criterion of someone who would be deserving of much love because he had so many vices, of which he couldn't deny, but he was very likable.

Uncle Roy was a lot of fun and pleasant to be around. Although he never lived close-by, his visits were welcomed by the family. Uncle Roy was a great conversationalist and very free with what he had. Handsome described him also.

Now, if one has a judgmental attitude and gauges people strictly by outward appearances, Uncle Roy would not pass the test. I will list a few, and you can decide if you think he was deserving of love. Before alcoholism was termed as a disease, Uncle Roy definitely overindulged and was labeled as a drunk. He also liked to entertain women, other than his wife. Yet we, his family liked and loved him in spite of his unacceptable behavior. Of course someone with Uncle Roy's traits needed to be changed, right? One of my beloved aunts was just the person to tackle the job.

As my mom reiterated the story to me when I became older, I laughed, and still do. Aunt Belle invited the pastor of her church to come to Sunday dinner to try to convert Uncle Roy to God/religion. We all sat down to enjoy Aunt Belle's scrumptious meal, but where was Uncle Roy?

We discovered Uncle had seen the preacher -- as they called the pastor -- and quickly decided that he was being targeted for a lecture. The mystery of his whereabouts was solved when we discovered the back door standing wide open. Uncle Roy had sneaked out the back door.

In spite of all his shenanigans, we continued to love him. Although he had the reputation of being a drunk and womanizer, he was the one to deal with that. Who were we to judge him? Scripture tells us to not judge others. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1-2)

Did Uncle Roy deserve our love and caring? Yes. We could not control his actions, except to offer help in an unpretentious way, but to love him was necessary. Mark 12:31, "Love your neighbor as yourself." John 4-19 tells us, "We love because He first loved us." Loving other people is good for us and for the other person. Love must be genuine because people can sense when you're insincere. Most individuals who are unlovable are desperately seeking love -- to fill a gap. Don't we believe they would be different if they could be? I'm not referring to material means or available recourses. I'm referring to what's inside them.

It's simple to write someone off who's difficult to deal with, but instead, treat them with compassion and include them in conversations and activities. Often people feel you actually don't want their company, so they act aloof to ward off possible rejection.

Whether you have an Uncle Roy or a mixed up/difficult child, don't judge them. Instead, give them the healing balm of your love -- to soothe their being.