Dr. Grow: Fighting the epic battle of squirrel vs. man

I have heard story after story about birders who try all sorts of methods aimed at making sure the local squirrel doesn't get into the bird feeder. There is the one where the feeder pole is greased so the squirrel can't get a grip to climb it. This method works for a day or two until the grease dries.

There is also the one where the squirrel baffle is placed between the feeder and the pole. The squirrel jumps on the baffle until it shifts just enough so the squirrel can slide off of the baffle and get onto the bird feeder and raid its contents.

After having heard the stories of bird lover versus squirrel, I realized that the cost of the bird food was not the issue. The issue was that man could not outwit the squirrel.

Once I realized this, I began to listen to the squirrel versus man stories with a different outlook. I understood that my role was that of commiseration. Now as I listen to each story, I nod sympathetically, act as if the story presented is the first time I have heard about it, and try to calm the storyteller. Perhaps someone needs to put a chapter in Psychology 101 texts that talk about squirrels versus man.

It is often said that necessity is the mother of invention. This certainly holds true when it comes to bird lovers who want to feed their favorite feathered friends in the back yard while making sure that the neighborhood bird food thief, the squirrel, is unable to ply his trade.

Thank heavens, for both the bird lover and me, there are a few inventions now on the market that allow you, the bird lover, to feed the birds, while making almost 99 percent sure that the local furry denizen does not partake of a free meal. I can now offer solutions to calm the bird lover.

Heritage Farms makes a bird feeder that has a counterbalanced perch. Birds are light enough to sit on the perch and feed continuously. Squirrels are much heavier. When they get on the perch, the perch gravitates downward, and the openings to the feeder are closed. The squirrel gets nothing to eat. The Heritage Farm feeder is offered as a one sided feeder or as a two-sided feeder. You can get it in John Deere green and yellow.

A similar system is used by Squirrel Buster to discourage squirrels from feeding at their feeders. The only difference is that the Squirrel Buster looks like a tube feeder, while the Heritage Farm feeder has a rectangular shape.

Droll Yankee makes a series of feeders that are also squirrel proof. The Tipper, the Whipper and the Dipper all have perches that will only allow birds to sit on them. When a squirrel gets on the perch, the perch collapses from its weight and the squirrel slides to the ground.

In addition, Droll Yankee makes a battery-powered model called the Flipper. The perch is weight-sensitive. When a squirrel gets on the perch, the perch is activated and rotates rapidly. The squirrel is "flipped" off.

If you want to be entertained while watching squirrels try to figure out the Flipper, purchase one. You will have hours of amusement until the local squirrels realize they can't figure it out and leave. You just have to wait for a new generation of uneducated squirrels for the fun to begin again.

The No/No feeder, made of steel mesh, is for black oil sunflower seed. The squirrel can only get one sunflower seed out at a time. After a while, the squirrel gets bored and leaves. Squirrels want a handout feeder that gives them food without having to work for it.

Any way you look at it, feeding birds but not the squirrels is a challenge. With the help of new inventions on the market, generated out of necessity, you can enjoy your feathered friends while not having to deal with the thievery of the local squirrels.

Send your gardening and landscape questions to Paul Schnare at P.O. Box 699, Cape Girardeau, Mo. 63702-0699 or by e-mail to news@semissourian.com.<I>