Deciding if it's our problem

Have you ever had someone say to you, "Leave it alone, it's not your problem"?

Almost all of us have heard that bit of advice at one time or another. Often that point of view is helpful to hear, but at other times, it's a frustrating statement.

While at lunch, recently, a friend and I were discussing that very topic -- "with whom does responsibly lie in particular instances?" Mila and I tossed various issues around, concerning whether one should or should not respond to particular needs. Must the person needing help be legally connected, such as a child, guardian or the person in charge of care, before someone else steps in? Should we stand back, say or do nothing and watch someone suffer because he/she, or a pet doesn't belong to us?

We often hear the firm assertion, "It's not your responsibility." As I sipped my coffee and Mila her hot tea, I thought of various instances where there was a need, and yet, no one came forward because the incidents were at the neighbor's house. Another friend, Jackie, related the happening of one such episode. It seems the people, next door to Jackie, beat their dogs because they barked. The owners of the dogs, beat them so they would not cause disturbance in the neighborhood. This commotion and cruelty bothered my friend tremendously since she lived beside them. However, since the dogs did not belong to her, she allowed it to continue without daring to call an animal control agency in her town. When I asked why she did nothing, she said, "It's not my problem" and she wanted to get along with the neighbor. In other words, "don't make any waves." By assuming that attitude, it was easier to walk away with a clear conscience.

Another, like incident, happened within the scope of my life. As I visited with an acquaintance, living near, she revealed that the couple across the street, beat their children. When I asked her why she failed to call the authorities such as the police, her comment was similar to the other scenario involving the dogs. "I don't want to get involved. I have to live by them." In other words, even though the parents of the children would not have known who talked with a child welfare agency, she was unwilling to come to the aid of the children, even anonymously.

It's quite common to find oneself asking, "Whom should I help?" We are prone to lean towards our own self-preservation, first, and this perspective causes us question whether we should respond to needs or walk away, saying, "It's not my problem." The question can be applied to family decisions, as well as to those with whom we have more distant interactions.

Mila, shared that she was at a crossroad within her family. Her children take great care to see that she is happy and cared for, as she lives independently. However, some of her offspring require more help than others that are well off financially. She hears quite often from them. "It's their responsibly and not your problem." She goes back and forth, within her mind and emotions concerning whom she should help. Does she limit it to equality for everyone among her children, or take the stand, "You help those who need help."

As I tried to advise and share my point of view with Mila, I showed her a Scripture in the Bible as my answer to whom do we help. Luke 10:25-37 writes about the Parable of the Good Samaritan.The parable tells of a man that was beaten, robbed, and left by the side of the road to die. Many passed him by, before a Samaritan rescued him and saw that he was cared for. Although the Samaritan had no knowledge or acquaintance with the victim, he helped the man. It was an example of "Love your neighbor as yourself" (27). There were no legalities involved, just a compassionate person who cared enough to come to the rescue of someone that needed his assistance, even though it inconvenienced him. When it involves helping someone that needs your help--do get involved and yes, it is your responsibility.