Dad finds something to crab about

At first, our family had only a house dog to call a pet.

Now we have two more pets. No, we didn't acquire two more dogs.

We are now the proud owners of two hermit crabs.

Becca and Bailey couldn't be happier.

They carry around the shell-covered hermit crabs in plastic aquarium-like containers, feeding them every three days a tiny amount of crab food that they bought from a local pet store. Cassie, our sheltie, would starve on such rations.

Bailey likes to spray the crabs with water. "It helps them breathe better," she tells me.

Now, I'm familiar with aquarium pets. I had fish when I was a kid growing up in St. Louis County. But at least fish swim around.

Hermit crabs don't do much of anything except sit under their shells. They move around more at night when their pet owners are sleeping.

You realize that's the case when you get up the next morning and find the shell has moved two centimeters.

Bailey named her crab Speedy. It's bigger than Becca's and actually can be seen to visibly move its legs under its black and white shell on occasion. Becca's crab, Hawaii, spends most of its time curled up under its orange shell, apparently doing absolutely nothing.

While our sheltie, Cassie, barks a lot, the hermit crabs are totally quiet.

Of course, Cassie seems more like a real pet because she wags her tail and tries to lick us when we walk in the door. The crabs seem oblivious to us. They're not about to come out of their shells just to greet us.

After all, when your whole world is a tiny shell it's hard to see the big picture.

Becca and Bailey purchased the hermit crabs with Joni's consent.

That's not surprising. My wife grew up in a home that would have made Dr. Doolittle proud.

Thankfully, the girls came home with not only their new pets but also a booklet explaining the joys of keeping hermit crabs.

"Why a land hermit crab?" the booklet asks. Not surprisingly the booklet answers this important question.

"Many people today desire some sort of exotic pet and, after all, what could be more exotic than a back-packing, ten-legged invertebrate?"

The booklet goes on to say that hermit crabs aren't dangerous like some exotic animals.

Still, you can get pinched.

If pinched by a crab, one should remain calm and hold the crab under lukewarm, running tap water, the booklet tells us.

They're hardy creatures, I'm told. "Disease is rare among them and even if a leg or an eye is broken off, it will grow back," the booklet states.

Of course, we're advised not to put our crab tanks near a window for fear that the summer sun will leave us with a crab bake.

According to the booklet, they are "remarkably intelligent for a creature of their size."

But I have a hard time believing that it takes any intelligence to sit under a shell all day.

Our pet pooch, who barks at the wind, doesn't growl or otherwise even acknowledge the hermit crabs.

That's probably fine with the crabs. After all, they don't want to be shellshocked.

Mark Bliss is a Southeast Missourian staff writer.