CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE: EDUCATION IN THE WORKPLACE IS A SMART INVESTMENT

An Ohio company has a corporate hug policy.

If employees at the Health Care and Retirement Corp. in Toledo think their co-workers have done a good job, they're encouraged to give them a hug.

Nothing like a warm, fuzzy feeling to keep the troops happy.

And, of course, employees have the right to just say "no" to hugs. That's written right into the policy.

So far, no one at the Toledo company has complained about unsolicited hugs.

The company's hug honcho says he's trying to create a more caring corporate environment. And everybody needs hugs, he says: at least four a day.

Employees also take an 11-hour training session on how to compliment others when they do a good job, how to be kind and considerate to employees and clients, and how to hug properly.

It's heart-warming to see America's corporate culture becoming friendlier, even if it takes 11 hours of training to teach people how to be nice.

Of course, it's much easier to stab somebody in the back if you hug them hard enough. Maybe that's the enticement.

Not everyone appreciates hugs in the workplace. Some of us are perfectly happy with a muttered, "Good job!"

Some people expect employees to actually do their jobs (Gasp! Shudder!) sans hugs, compliments or other strokes.

Companies are always sending employees off for training on building better widgets or increasing workplace efficiency or those seven habits for selling lots of books and related merchandise.

Maybe corporate education needs to broaden its curriculum. Throw in a few electives. Loosen its tie and have some fun.

Fun IN the workplace. What a concept.

It could make golf obsolete.

Here are a few ideas for corporate learning in the real world:

-- Workplace Anthropology: Understanding the complex and fascinating dynamic between water cooler vultures, corporate brown-noses, management, drones and wannabes.

-- Workplace Home Ec: Safeguarding the leftovers in the break room refrigerator/basic sanitation for disposal of Christmas party leftovers.

-- Diplomacy in the Workplace: How to suck up to the boss and look good to your co-workers while you're doing it.

-- Organizational Standards and Practices: How to make sure your desk is absolutely bare (except for family photos, company plaques, etc.) when the day is done, even when you've really done some work, and how to palm off paper on your co-workers/subordinates.

-- Environmental Management: Disposing of work product detritus for those who can't master the above.

-- Communications Management in the Office Environment: Gossip. After all, this is the Information Age.

-- Decorating Your Cubicle: Lots of uses for all those "Dilbert" cartoons you cut out of the comics everyday. With an introduction by Martha Stewart.

-- Nutrition in the Corporate Workplace: How to make the entire department happy with hot wings and cheese-in-a-can.

It's always much nicer to work with well-educated, well-rounded co-workers.

Now if I could just get the clean-desk thing down. ...

Peggy O'Farrell is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.