CLICK & DOUBLE CLICK: NEED SOME ADVICE? INTERNET ADVICE COMES IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES (COLUMN 130)

Need some advice? We're full of it -- advice that is. But the Internet has even more advice than two mothers put together.

One site we touched on before, we will return to today. "Ask Jeeves" was mentioned before as a good search engine, but it's also a great place to ask questions and get answers. You can find "Ask Jeeves" at

www.askjeeves.com

or

www.ask.com

Joni: Jeeves has a database of 6 million answers to the most popular questions asked online. Oh, Jeeves is your Internet butler too. I like that.

Peggy: You type in a question, any kind of question, and click "ask." Jeeves will also check your spelling.

Joni: What do people ask? Some of the most popular questions from the last month range from "Where can I find lesson plans?" to "What's for dinner?" and "What do I name my baby?" to "What's on TV tonight?"

Peggy: Seems Jeeves knows something about everything.

Joni: Let's ask "What's for dinner?" Basically, Jeeves sends you to a Web site that contains the answer.

Peggy: We asked "Who is the Scarlet Pimpernel?" Jeeves sent us to the Internet Movie Database for the answer.

Joni: My husband was wondering about an earlier version of the movie from 1982. Here's the answer. Anthony Andrews was the Scarlet Pimpernel.

Peggy: Jeeves also has a game you can play, a road rally on the Internet. You collect points by traveling across the Internet.

Joni: "Ask Jeeves" also has a children's site with answers to questions from children. You can find it at

www.ajkids.com

Peggy: You can peek at what kids are asking right now. One kid is asking "Why should I eat my vegetables?" Another is asking "How can I learn to make paper airplanes?" The questions and answers are filtered using SurfWatch, which blocks more than 1,000 explicit sites. Only G-rated Web sites will come back for kids.

Joni: USA Today called "Freeadvice.com" the most useful consumer legal site on the Internet.

freeadvice.com

Peggy: The site covers all kinds of questions of law, insurance, accidents, legal, estate planning and much more. Let's look at white-collar crimes. Here's a question. "Is it still larceny if I take something as a practical joke?"

Joni: The answer is "generally not" if it was done in a spirit of fun. It sounds a little iffy.

Peggy: The advice is prepared by contributing lawyers from practicing lawyers from coast to coast, law school deans and professors and consumer advocates. Of course, the site isn't meant to replace an attorney, just offer some advice.

Joni: They have a legal checkup for 1999, giving tips to avoid going to court. They have tips for people and tips for businesses. They talk about probate and taxes and living wills. And they talk about partnerships, warranties and bankruptcies.

Peggy: Among the advice is a section about whether businesses are protected in E-commerce.

Joni: The government offers free advice through their Consumer Information Center. You know those people who mail out all those booklets from Pueblo, Colo.

Peggy: You can view them for free or order them online. You can pick from advice in 12 categories ranging from cars to kids, federal programs to food.

Joni: Under what's new, we learned the government has a new publication on safer eggs and another called "Y2K, the Bank and You." Here's another, "Questions to Ask Your Pharmacist" or "Where to Write for Vital Records?"

Peggy: Here's another "What to do When a Friend is Depressed?" or an award-winning publication, "A Baby Changes Everything." No kidding.

Joni: You can actually open up the brochures online. You could print them out. If you want some mailed to your home or office, there is a handling charge.

Peggy: The queen of advice, Dear Abby, is also online.

www.uexpress.com/ups/abby

Joni: The site chronicles Abby's advice-giving. She started writing in 1956. Her real name is Pauline Friedman Phillips. I didn't know that. She started writing for the San Francisco Chronicle.

Peggy: You can also read a Q&A interview with Dear Abby. She answers questions about "Operation Dear Abby" and says she never tires of hearing others' troubles.

Joni: Sometimes, when she gets letters from readers who are desperate, she calls them. But not all the letters are depressing. One reader wrote, "Dear Abby, I hear there's a sex revolution going on. Will you please tell me where it is and how to get there?"

Peggy: Abby has a place to write online. You can send your letters via e-mail.

Joni: What kind of power does Abby wield? She asked in 1992 "Where were you when John F. Kennedy was shot?" She got 300,000 responses. Typically she gets about 10,000 letters a week.

Peggy: One of our favorite advice givers has to be the Car Talk guys, Tom and Ray Magliozzi, better known as Click and Clack.

Joni: They've been described as America's funniest auto mechanics. They're great. I listen to them on KRCU Saturday mornings. I know nothing about cars, but they're fun and you can learn as you laugh.

www.cartalk.cars.com/Got-A-Car

Peggy: They offer lots of advice and answer lots of questions, but we liked the section called "My car sounds funny." You check out their sound emporium to get your sound diagnosed.

Joni: You can play through a selection of nearly 30 noises. If you have an idea about the sound you can go directly to the virtual car. Or if you have some time to kill, you can listen to all.

Peggy: It's the guys making the sounds a car would make. A bad tire, for example, sounds like "floovb, floovb, vwomp, vwomp, vwomp."

Joni: If you haven't a clue, you can ask Click and Clack to show you everything.

Peggy: What's your favorite advice site? E-mail us at click@semissourian.com

See you in Cyberspace.

~Peggy Scott and Joni Adams are members of the Southeast Missourian online staff.