CLICK & DOUBLE CLICK: IT'S ELECTION DAY: INTERNET OFFERS LATEST RESULTS AND LAUGHTER (COLUMN 112)

It's Election Day. The Internet, with its instant access to information and fast changing nature, is perfect for election night results.

At the newspaper, we used the Internet as a backup and to double-check election returns, and we plan to do the same tonight.

Joni: CNN has a good political site, called Election '98 with a far-reaching national overview. This is a non-presidential election, but all the House, a third of the Senate and 36 governors are up for election. There's a lot on the line today.

cnn.com

Peggy: CNN gives a profile and political analysis of each race. They call the shoo-ins, the long shots and tossups in across the country.

Joni: The analysis was pretty much on the money, at least the ones we read. You can also peruse election news for each state, including demographics and polling data.

Peggy: They also talk about issues on the Missouri ballot, like riverboat gambling. And they discuss state races, including all 163 House seats and 17 Senate seats.

Joni: Here's statistics on voter turnout. Historically, Missourians turn out more than the national average, but still only a little more than half of voters go to the polls.

Peggy: For even more information, check out All Politics, a joint effort of CNN, Time and Congressional Quarterly.

cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS

Joni: You can learn about the weirdo candidates on the ballot across the country, including a woman who claims her opponent is dead.

Peggy: They also give readers a chance to "Be a Pundit" and predict the outcomes of today's elections.

Joni: You can also find video or audio on demand, desktop headlines and discussion boards to talk with others.

Peggy: We will be watching our election returns from the Missouri Secretary of State's Web page at

mosl.sos.state.mo.us

Joni: Scroll down to the category Elections and click. The Secretary of State's office was faster last election than the Associated Press. You can request information by county, candidate or region. You can get as much or as little information as possible.

Peggy: We understand some county clerks will be submitting information directly to the Web site, which should speed up reporting.

Joni: I think this is a very practical use of our tax dollars in action.

Peggy: Cape Girardeau County also posts election results on its Web site soon after the votes are tallied.

www.showme.net/CapeCounty/

Joni: For people who are tired of politics, try some of the many political humor sites out on the Web. One of the better sites for humor and satire is called The Onion.

www.theonion.com

Peggy: It started as a college humor magazine 10 years ago in Madison, Wis. It does have a disclaimer that the content of the Web site is not intended for readers younger than 18.

Joni: Here's an example of its deadpan humor headlines. "Starr Taunts Clinton With Humiliating 'Sittin' In A Tree' Song" or "Area Man Forces Self To Drink Another Free Refill."

Peggy: Here's a statistical graphic -- "How Often Do we Kill?" The data show that 71 percent of Americans commit 0 to 5 murders annually.

Joni: Here's another offering, this one from Comedy Central called the Daily Show, based on the television show of the same name.

www.comcentral.com/dailyshow

Peggy: This site puts its own spin, either funny or crude, on the day's headlines.

Joni: The thing about humor is it is in the eye of the beholder. It's either really funny or really stupid.

Peggy: Here's another site that combines both, called Capital Steps with satirical lyrics -- that's right -- lyrics. This is a 16-year-old musical comedy troupe that lampoon everyone from the president on down. They have cut 17 albums.

www.capsteps.com

Joni: They perform live at a Washington, D.C., nightclub, but you can hear them live on your computer. You can read Ken Starr's report, yes the whole text, or listen to the sound track, which includes a rendition of "Old Man Zipper."

Peggy: Yes, they make up songs about current events. Here's one about Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa, "I Chased Maris."

Joni: Here's lot's more about the Bill and Monica scandal, including these satirical lyrics sung to well-known songs: "Sneaking Flowers Through The Wall," "My Momma Told Me...You Better Sleep Around," "This Linda is a Tripp" and "The Bimbo Connection."

Peggy: For a different look at politics, check out Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher. This humor site may be a little more mainstream since ABC has censors.

abc.com/pi/

Joni: You can read the talkback and forums, and you can play the Clinton games. Today's earth shattering poll: Have you had enough of candy corn?

Peggy: You can also get transcripts of shows for about a month. It's really easy to give your two cents on a variety of topics, not just candy corn, but liberals and big business.

Joni: They also give you e-mail addresses of all U.S. Senators by name and by state, in case you have to get something off your chest.

Peggy: You can also suggest panelists for the show and topics to be discussed or you can e-mail your questions to Bill Maher.

Joni: Bill also has his own political commercials, including a battle of Robin Hood and Santa Claus and Tonto. These are found in the screening room and are worth a look.

Peggy: You can play political pingpong with Bill Clinton, Monica and Ken. You need ShockWave. Pingpong was never like this.

Joni: What's your favorite political site? E-mail us at click@semissourian.com

Don't forget to make your two cents count and vote today.

See you in Cyberspace.

~Peggy Scott and Joni Adams are members of the Southeast Missourian online staff.