Childhood can be dangerous

Warning: Childhood can be hazardous to your health.

Our government has warnings for everything else. I'm surprised they don't have it for childhood.

Growing up often seems centered on surviving a perpetual series of spills.

Take Becca, for example. At age 11, she's become a fixture in the hospital emergency room.

If it can be sprained, she's done it.

Not a school year goes by that she doesn't have to hobble around on crutches.

Last week, she managed to sprain her right ankle. She was on the stairs in her roller-skates when it happened.

Both Becca and Bailey have had their share of falls on our stairs.

I'm surprised Congress hasn't outlawed stairs or at least banned children from using them.

Becca reminds me of that old lawnmower commercial where the mower keeps going but the announcer questions if the boy will survive as we see him in the yard, his legs and arms in solid casts.

"I'm not so sure about Eddie," the announcer says.

I feel that way sometimes about both Becca and Bailey.

At age 7, Bailey has her share of accidents too.

On two occasions recently at the same Chinese restaurant, Bailey has spilled her entire diet coke, leaving us grabbing for napkins and offering numerous apologies to the waitresses.

Like other parents, Joni and I know the simple truth of childhood. Spills, both the drink and human kind, are a regular part of it. That's why we prefer cups with lids.

It's not that the kids intend for disaster to strike. It just does.

I had hoped to get through the whole first week of school without any significant disaster that required either of our daughters to miss any school.

Unfortunately, Becca's sprained ankle got her an early exit from school one day.

Meanwhile, our dog, Cassie, continues to chew up anything plastic that the children leave on the floor. The other day she chewed the legs off a little doll.

Joni and I do our best to keep Bailey's Buddy Bear away from our canine chewing machine.

I'm thinking, however, it would be nice if Cassie would chew up the skates since they seem to precipitate all manner of childhood accidents.

As a parent, there are times when you want to wrap your child in foam padding or put them in some sort of sci-fi bubble to protect them from life's bumps and bruises.

Of course, that's impossible.

But if they fall backwards, they'll be in good shape. They both have big backpacks.

The nation's backpacks get bigger every year. In the younger grades, it's often hard to see the children's heads. All you see are backpacks with legs parading into school each morning.

Still, the start of school is an exciting time.

There's nothing like a backpack full of school supplies to make you feel good about the world or at least your child's first day of school.

With any luck, Becca and Bailey will make it through the school year without being put on injured reserve.

As for Becca in particular, I'd advise her not to take up theater.

I'm afraid she might follow the acting profession's "break a leg" advice quite literally.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.