BUCKING THE SYSTEM: TRUE FRIENDSHIP LASTS NO MATTER HOW FAR APART FRIENDS MAY LIVE

Isn't it strange how we meet so many people and form relationships, only to forget about them as we move on in our lives?

Over the last two weeks I've received calls from or seen numerous people from my past. I don't know if Fate or spring's arrival was the impetus behind these reappearances. Whatever it was, I wish it would have made its intentions clear to me from the start.

I've known a lot of people in my life. Thanks to that DNA contributed by my dad, I'm what's known as a people person, a mingler, a person who knows no strangers. I can feel comfortable in just about any setting and start up a genuine conversation with perfect strangers.

I guess that's why I was so startled by the recent contact with old childhood chums, people from my high school crowd, college pals, over-21-and-single running buddies, former colleagues, and of course, my current set of married and attached friends.

My contact with each person was very similar. After the "where are you and what are you doing now?" updates, we all laughed and reminisced about "back in the day" (whenever that was) and revisited all of the intimate little details we shared about our lives when our bonds were close and constant.

There were a lot of groans, regrets and downright embarrassed looks passed during those conversations, but they were all enjoyed.

Looking at the women I've known, I realized that everyone whose friendships meant anything to me was very different from one another, which I thought was very strange. In general, I would have thought that people develop friendships based on similarities, but now I don't really think that's so.

I believe we develop friendships based on what we need at a particular time, and if we're lucky the sustained relationships will all have one or more themes that make them significant.

I think the common characteristics for my friendships have been the general Every-manness we all have shared and a slightly contrived outlook on life that helps us get through each day. I've known plenty of city slickers in my past, but those friendships were all superficial and fairly short in duration. However, all the country bumpkins like myself are still calling, doing lunch and loving each other.

Take Stephanie, Daniella and Latoya, my adult friends. Our friendships were initially based on the fact that our husbands/significant others enjoy each other's company and decided that we should, too. However, after learning that we each had country backgrounds and beliefs, it didn't take long for the juices from these mixed greens to start blending into something special.

Then there's Bev and Deb, former co-workers and the first people I'd ever known who prayed for their co-workers and workplace. These two phenomenal women made life at my former job bearable, and they didn't mind taking our relationships beyond the workplace. Because of them, I received an excellent wedding gift from the company, and they also helped me through those anxious months before Jerry was born.

Although we don't work together any longer, those two spiritual, old-school women are good friends whom I enjoy having in my life.

And I could never forget Michelle, Tracy and Felecia, now grown women whom I've known all my life. We didn't always get along, but we were always together. And when it came time for me to get married there was no question who my bridal attendants would be, just as there was no question that my real sister Clarissa would be my maid of honor.

These women all represent good aspects of my life. We've shared so much that it would be impossible to break the bonds we've built over the years. We don't live around the corner from one another or see each other everyday any more, but then again, we don't have to.

We're sisters.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.