BUCKING THE SYSTEM: 'THE CLIQUE' PLANS SPECIAL WEEKEND GETAWAY

I generally enjoy hanging out with "The Clique," but when we take our annual getaway, I realize even more why my friends are special.

It's hard to believe an entire year has passed and that it is again time for Valentine's Day.

Each year, Patrick and I and a group of about six couples take a getaway on the weekend nearest to this holiday to renew our romantic connections. We're mostly married or nearly married couples who share childhoods and day cares and college memories on a myriad of levels.

We have several single friends in our close-knit group, and they are allowed on this trip, but only in couple form. The only thing we ask of the single people is that we are allowed to become acquainted with and decide whether we like their dates prior to our departure from town.

Not that they wouldn't be able to come if we didn't like them, but it's much easier if we know upfront whether someone fits into "The Clique."

It's funny about that word, clique. It has such negative connotations that people never want to be associated with it. Maybe that's why we all reacted with such outrage when the label was placed on us more than a year ago.

We protested vehemently against the label, which was awarded by individuals who couldn't understand how or why we would want to keep most of our business out of the streets. We were called uppity, when the simple truth is only that we like to share our personal business on a need-to-know basis.

We've grown a lot since first being dubbed "The Clique." Now, we've learned to love the title because it reminds us that our friendships are special. We are a close association of young families who care about what happens to each other.

Our clique is a family, albeit unrelated, and I'm proud rather than angry when people group us together.

Not that we don't fight -- I did say we were a family, didn't I? In fact, our spats can get quite nasty sometimes, with people going without speaking to each other for short lengths of time.

However, we don't fight for keeps because we know we're only angry momentarily. That means you won't find me going off and telling all my girl Stephanie's business just because I got mad at her one day.

That also means that we don't reject members just because a relationship didn't work out. Once single people are accepted into our group, they are our friends, whether their mate changes or not. The women always will be invited to Girl's Night events, and the men will still be able to attend Married Men's Club meetings every Monday.

If they choose to disassociate themselves from us, that's their business, but no one can say we asked them not to come around.

The great thing about extended families is that with very little effort they tend to grow. Last year at this time we added a new married couple and a new female to our group. With them they brought children and extended family, most of whom were accepted with open arms.

It's finally the weekend, and I'm so ready to go hang out and explore a new city with The Clique. I'm glad we've got a time when we can all leave town, have fun, and remind ourselves how much we love our mates and each other.

We're The Clique, and we don't care who knows it.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.