BUCKING THE SYSTEM: MOST HAVE WRONG STATS ON THEIR DRIVER'S LICENSES

* How many of you can say the weight listed on your driver's license is within five pounds of your actual weight?

I got a good laugh this week. I looked at my driver's license.

It wasn't my picture that I found humorous. I don't mind my driver's license picture, because I know that's what I look like and it's not that bad. Neither was I tickled by other information, like my hair and eye color or home address. True, all true.

But that three-digit number I've got listed as my weight in pounds? Well, that's a lie, pure and simple. In fact, the discrepancy between my real weight and my listed weight is so big, it might be closer if they considered it in kilograms.

It's wrong, and I know it. You're supposed to tell the truth on these documents under risk of various penalties. But, by a quick show of hands, how many of you can say with ABSOLUTE HONESTY that the weight listed on your driver's license is within five pounds of your actual weight?

That's what I thought.

I wonder how many people would be arrested if law enforcement agencies decided to test the truth of the weights as listed on driver's licenses across the nation? If it did happen, I'm sure they'd handcuff me and the car I'm driving, because the weight I have listed wasn't even accurate on my 16th birthday when I first took my driver's exam.

And anyway, what motivation do we have to divulge our actual weight? My license is on somebody's counter almost as much as it is in my purse, and I personally am not willing to receive pointed stares from bank tellers, snickers by retail clerks or comments about my choices at grocery stores.

I live for the day when my ideal and actual weights are the same, but I'm realistic enough to know it's probably not going to happen. But, thanks to my sister, I have been at least working to narrow the margin lately by adding a regular exercise regimen to my daily to-do list.

I've experimented with diets for so long that it came as a surprise when my sister told me to just eat what I wanted, but reduce the portions and try to be rational. The key, she said, was the exercise component.

And so it was that I began my latest experiment with weight loss: eat normally and exercise often. Whenever possible, I'm trying to replace fat with muscle in my battle of the bulge using the best weapon available: me.

And it's starting to pay off. I have been able to put on jeans right out of the dryer for the first time in about a year, and the backs of my arms have started to tighten just the teeniest bit. I've got a loooooong way to go yet, but I've taken to looking at that driver's license every day just to refocus myself on my goal.

Maybe I'll achieve it and maybe I won't, but at least I can say I thought about doing the right thing and gave it a sincere try. And maybe, just maybe, one day I'll be able to walk into the license bureau and tell the lady helping me I want to change the weight on my license.

I doubt it'll be a first in history, but I bet it doesn't happen too often.

Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.