BUCKING THE SYSTEM: BEING SOLE FEMALE IN HOUSEHOLD CAN'T BE ALL THAT BAD

When I was growing up, my dad was the only male in our household.

Dad, poor soul, had to suffer through lots of movies, shopping sprees, school activities and personal tragedies that were relatively testosterone-free.

But he persevered, and I think he's become a knowledgeable man thanks to my mom, my sister and me.

Dad always had a way of ignoring things that he thought were "women's territory." For example, I don't think he ever verbally acknowledged puberty in either myself or my sister.

According to Dad, we just got taller.

And then there were the prom dresses, and for Clarissa, a Homecoming Queen gown that needed to be bought. Dad willingly shelled out the money needed for our glamorous purchases, and he made sure we had plenty of pictures and videotape from those occasions.

However, he wanted nothing to do with the selection of those dresses, nor with the actual event other than a couple of minutes standing between us and our dates and smiling pretty for the cameras.

In fact, I think Dad learned very quickly that too much information could be downright embarrassing for a father with two daughters. I have a vivid memory from my college days when Dad decided to press for information about a doctor's appointment I had.

Imagine his horror when I finally informed him I needed to visit my gynecologist for my annual exam. "Next time, just tell me to mind my own damn business," he snarled as he ran out the room.

I also can think of several boyfriends Dad managed to pretend were nonexistent. My husband, Patrick, was one of them.

For about a year, Patrick was known only as "Joe No Name" to my dad. That is, until Dad needed help moving a boat or a refrigerator or some other manly chore arose.

He always managed to call Patrick by his name on those days.

I used to think it must be awful to be the only person of a gender in a household. Now I know better. While I was tut-tutting about how Dad didn't get to know the intimate details of our lives, he was hiding his amusement each time Mom had to take us to the bathroom.

And while I figured Dad was missing out on quality time whenever Mom shuttled us off to doctor's visits and shopping sprees, he was sprawled in front of a television watching all the sports events he wanted without hearing reminders that "The Waltons will be on in 15 minutes."

Yep, now I know Dad really had it good when I was a child. And since I married and gave birth to two strapping boys, I've improved his chances of winning an argument.

I now realize being the only female in the house isn't necessarily a bad thing. What with Jerry telling me he can no longer go with me into the ladies room to potty, I figure this thing can only get better with time.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.