BETWEEN THE LINES: CRACKING UNDER THE PRESSURE OF BEING THE FIRST-BORN CHILD

I had always liked being the oldest child in my family until recently. Events in the past week have caused me to reconsider my stake.

Oldest child syndrome has hit.

Being the oldest child brings with it an abundance of duties and responsibilities.

I had known this information for some time now, but I was quickly reminded when my mother announced she'd be having outpatient surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome later in the week.

As the only child living close by, I'm the one chosen to care for her while she recuperates. My brother will come home for a quick visit, he says, but I'll be stuck with all the work.

Not surprising. This has been happening for years now. I am the one who remembers birthdays and buys Christmas gifts; he just signs the cards.

In talking with other oldest children, I've discovered the problem is universal. Several of my friends who also are oldest children are forced into buying the gifts for their parents' birthdays and assorted holidays because their siblings don't. It's expected that the oldest sibling will do all the work.

At first I thought I bought all the gifts because I'm the "responsible one" in the family. I worry more about having all the details in order and usually had more money to purchase these gifts. Now I know the cause is actually related to birth order and being the oldest child.

For anyone studying birth order, my brother and I are classic examples.

Some scientists and researchers study birth order because they believe it has an impact on personality and career choices.

I don't know if that's all true, but it sure makes for a fun column.

Here's what researchers know:

-- First-born children like to be in control. They are achievement oriented, reliable people who like to plan ahead.

-- First-borns thrive on being on time and organized.

-- First-borns also are perfectionists, moody, stubborn and set high standards for everyone around them. (Most people see those as faults. I don't necessarily think these are bad traits.)

-- Last-born children are easygoing and have lots of personality. They are often impulsive and irresponsible, too.

-- Last-borns tend to lose things. As a rule, they are the last people who can live on a tight budget.

-- Many last-borns are messy.

Not all these statements are true of my brother and me, but a majority are.

I'll admit that I'm a perfectionist with really high standards (and few people actually meet them).

But I'm an optimist, so I keep hoping for a change.

My brother always has been the fun, outgoing person in the family. He wasn't the most responsible child on the block, but he was fun.

His room was always messy, but he seemed to find things easily enough. And he's not really good with a budget, but then, truthfully neither am I.

None of this research, however, can change the fact that I'm still the oldest child and that role brings more responsibility. All this translates into having little help around the house while my mother recuperates and my brother visits.

So when I crack under the pressure of being the oldest child at least now people will know why.

~Laura Johnston is a copy editor at the Southeast Missourian.