Battling the basket problem

Husband-and-wife journalists Bob Miller and Callie Clark Miller use this space to offer their views on everyday issues.

SHE SAID: We're basket cases, Bob and I. We've known it for a while, but have tried to cover up the problem with the ingenious incorporation of clay pots, plastic tubs and the like.

Due to our recent nesting attempts in preparation for baby Dawson, the issue has come to the fore and can no longer be avoided. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, right?

Last week, Bob and I finally were forced to admit we do indeed have a basket problem. We were cleaning out the guest room (formerly our bedroom), sifting through myriad junk that has accumulated over the past few years, when Bob pointed out the number of baskets sitting around, most of them full to the brim and none of them really serving a true purpose.

It's easier to illustrate this dilemma with specific examples.

Exhibit A: A laundry basket holding an empty Christmas box, Hilaire Belloc's "Cautionary Verses," three of my sweaters, one of Bob's shirts, a wash cloth, nail polish remover, the cover from "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" and a roll of quilt batting.

Exhibit B: A small plastic tub that contains a box of utility staples, a pearlescent chain belt, Bob's long-lost wrist watch, a spool of bead thread, one marble, two AA batteries, a paper clip, quilting pins, one die, a button, eye liner, a Susan B. Anthony dollar, a Lego, one Hall's Vitamin C drop (hmmm, strawberry) and a miniature key-chain pocketknife.

Exhibit C: (This is our favorite.) A handcrafted pottery bowl with Scotch tape, an unidentified white cord, a night light plug-in with no bulb, a halogen bulb that definitely doesn't fit the night light, two AA batteries (no wonder we can never find any batteries), one wooden napkin ring, a plastic wedge used for laying laminate flooring, two buttons, two different earrings, one Rook card, a drill bit, two nails, a safety pin and, finally, a Remington .243 shell left over from last November's deer season.

After making these three discoveries, Bob and I started looking around the rest of the house. We were startled to discover this bad basket habit has carried over to the every single room. Worse, we're already passing along this legacy of unorganized junkiness to Dawson. We've recently purchased four baskets for his nursery to hold toys, diapers, receiving blankets and the like. Who knows what will end up mixed in with his bibs? Is there a 12-step program for this addiction?

HE SAID: I've mumbled and grumbled about the basket problem for quite some time. Now, I've become part of the problem. The other day I found a John Elway football card, and it ended up in a basket. Doing construction, I'll drop a couple nails in my pocket. They end up in a basket. Hats, sock singletons and, apparently, family heirlooms find their way to basket bottoms.

We do actually put some of our baskets (of all shapes and sizes, mind you) to good use. We've got baskets in the bathroom stuffed with all sorts of toiletries, keeping them off the counter. We have extra toilet paper in a basket. We have ladles, spatulas, mixer beaters and meat tenderizers in a basket on the kitchen counter. Baskets in my son's room hold video games. I'm sure somewhere we have a basket of baskets.

But at some point, you've got to realize when you've got too many baskets, buckets and bins. We've reached that point.

So I'm appealing to the New York Knicks and the Easter Bunny. You both could use some extra baskets about now. Let's work something out.

Callie Clark Miller is the special publications managing editor for the Southeast Missourian. Bob Miller is Southeast Missourian managing editor. If you need a basket, you can reach them at cmiller@semissourian.com and bmiller@semissourian.com.