A way to deal with life

Does life often seem to get you down, cut you off or seem to be more than you can deal with? Most have been hurt by something another person has said to us, at one time or another. How did we respond to those injured feelings of disappointment, dashed-confidence, and rejection?

Did we become depressed, cry a lot or feel overly sad and hurt? All ages experience instances of criticism and rebuff. God knew that we would experience ill treatment during our lives, and Jesus was a prime example during the Passion. He was innocent even though he was judged guilty. He continued to heal sinners, without discrimination, and in spite of what unkind deeds people inflicted on Him, Jesus still always asked God, his Father, to forgive them, for they knew not what they were doing (Luke 23:34). Even though people saw him cry at times, he still kept his gentle demeanor, even though most would not have done so. We would have fought back, right? Jesus retaliated in another way, in a different manner, than what the world would prescribe.

It seems that dealing with people and relationships causes more grief than anything else in our lives. Purposes and goals that we accomplish, or that are a cause for joy to us, can be dashed to bits by one unkind remark from another person.

My mother, Blanche, had her own way of dealing with the bad that people said and imposed upon her. If one of her children complained and wept about a cruel remark, or other confidence-stealing act, she had a solution. "Don't pay to attention them," she would say. This remedy did and does still work, if we're able to do it. I have thought about her advice many times and realize that it's the perfect cure for rejection and criticism. Turning the other cheek, ignoring derogatory remarks, and refusing to pay excess attention to what others say and do to us is, indeed an enormous help when we're put down. No one of us enjoys being insulted, defamed and humiliated. However if we can try to "put on the mind of Jesus," merely recalling and believing the phrase can raise our spirits.

There are so many instances where we need to cease paying an undue amount of attention to the bad in our lives. Instead, we need to ignore the unfortunate when we can, and learn from that which is beneficial to our well-being. Dealing with whatever we must, is necessary for our survival and will to live. Coping with difficulties is necessary to accomplish our goals and feel joyful within our heart.

To decline to pay attention to undesirable situations doesn't mean that we ought to dismiss that which is good and helpful in what we're experiencing, because, perhaps the unpleasant is something we need to hear or see. Often God speaks to us through those that appear to be detrimental to us. Although some may have been hateful or sarcastic toward us out of meanness or anger, we can possibly learn from their words. Try to keep an open mind and refrain from taking the insults or insinuations personally. Harsh words and deeds can only harm us if WE allow them to take root. Words can hurt us, but we alone determine what we do with the hurt. Do we keep it bottled up inside, and continually fuss and fume over something that a person, like ourselves, has said or done? One never knows what has happened or is occurring in the life of the offending person, but it isn't up to us to judge or get even with someone. Scripture says, "Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God," and "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."

I felt compelled to write about the words of mom, because those words have helped sustain me as I've battled, and accepted what I could not, or would not, do anything about. Whether we are able to truly turn the other cheek, and refuse to pay attention to the bad in life, or we allow the negative to prevail; it is our choice.