'Twas the night before finals

'Twas the night before finals,

And all through the college,

The students were praying

For last-minute knowledge.

Most were quite sleepy,

But none touched their beds,

While visions of essays

Danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns,

A few were still drinking,

And hoping that liquor

Would loosen their thinking

In my own room,

I had been pacing,

And dreading exams

I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless,

His nose in his book,

And my comments to him

Drew unfriendly looks.

I drained all the coffee,

And brewed a new pot,

No longer caring

That my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes,

But my thoughts were all muddy;

My eyes went a blur,

And I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help,"

I said with a shiver,

But each place I called

Refused to deliver.

I'd nearly concluded

that life was too cruel,

With futures depending

On grades earned in school.

When all of a sudden

Our door opened wide

And Patron Saint "Put-It-Off"

Ambled inside.

His spirit was careless,

His manner was mellow,

But summoning effort

He started to bellow:

"What kind of student

Would make such a fuss

To toss back at teachers

What they toss at us?

On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!

On Last Year's Exams!

On Wingit and Slingit,

And Last-Minute Crams!"

His message delivered,

He vanished from sight,

But we heard him laughing

Outside in the night:

"Your teachers have pegged you,

So just do our best...

Happy Finals to All,

And to All, a good test."