Farrellys lose it in 'Heartbreak Kid'

I've always had the sneaking suspicion that the Farrelly brothers started making films so they could ask women to take off their clothes.

I can see them as teenagers snickering behind their Super 8 camera as young women do their bidding. Naked girls, fart jokes and bizarre genitalia pushing hard against an R rating -- that's one way to make a career.

Though to give them their due, what the brothers have (or had) going for them was the laughs. Yeah, they are the snickering teenagers behind the camera, but you can't help but to admit they are pretty funny. Or were funny.

"The Heartbreak Kid" ain't funny.

Maybe the problem started back in 2003 when Dreamworks announced they were remaking Neil Simon's 1972 "The Heartbreak Kid," which was an adaptation of Bruce Jay Friedman's short story "A Change of Plan."

Remember that one? Directed by Elaine May and starring Charles Grodin?

Me neither. I had to look it up.

Dreamworks got Jason Bateman ("The Kingdom") and Amy Poehler ("Saturday Night Live") to star and Barry Sonnenfeld ("Men In Black") to direct. When Sonnenfeld backed out, they got James Bobin ("Ali G") to direct.

When Bobin and the two leads backed out, they brought in the Farrelly brothers to direct and rewrite the newest version of the adaptation. (At least five writers had previously been paid for rewrites -- a very bad sign.)

I'm just guessing here, but it seems that Spielberg and the gang decided the only way to save the project was to let the Farrelly brothers do their teenage treatment thing. It's incredibly clich, but, yeah, Dreamworks had a dog on their hands and solved the problem by adding naked girls, fart jokes and close-ups of strange anatomy. It's kind of sad and kind of creepy in an 'Emperor has no clothes' sort of way.

I guess I should say something about the story: A guy can't commit. Then over reacts and commits too early. On the honeymoon he finds out she's a loony. When the loony gets a sunburn and has to stay inside their suite, he meets the woman of his dreams. Lots of miscommunication and misadventures ensue and he loses the girl and his loony wife.

Save your time and money and rent the original Neil Simon movie. I understand it is quite good, and Eddie Albert (remember "Green Acres"?) was nominated for an Oscar for his performance as the father.