Alex Goes Off!

by Alexandra R. Yaremko

"Back to School"

Recently, I've felt an itching to have my palm read. I've had my palm read before with somewhat interesting (to me), if not as of yet, accurate results. Twice actually one summer when I was 17, in two different places by two different people, with, yup, you guessed it, two different results. Maybe one read my left palm and the other my right, who knows. A few things resonated from these experiences as they always do, but for the most part the rest of what was said is lost.

It's not answers I'm looking for. 17 year old self probably was looking for answers or guidance of some sort. Maybe the questions are different now, or the approach to the idea of questions and answers is different. In either case, this time around having my palm read has more of a "why not?" feel to it, as opposed to "I have to know." Why not get an update of sorts. A status report, if you will.

There are things I'm sure of now that I was not sure of when I had my palm read before. And I did not learn from a psychic. Don't worry, it's a short list. We'll start, in no particular order: There are enough unexplained things in the world that going to a psychic may actually have some merit. Going beyond unexplained, which implies there might be an explanation at some point, let's even venture to say there are unexplainable, mysterious things. Why not get an "in" or even a heads up? If that's possible.

The next, an oldie but a goodie: It's not what people say, it's what they do that counts. You know this one. As in, "But he/she says he loves me." As in his/her behavior is not aligned with what is being said. Along the same lines: Vagueness does not lend itself to mystery, just deception. If you ask a straightforward question and do not get a straightforward response, there's some sort of deception involved. Think, "How many miles does the car have on it?" "Oh, all highway miles." You probably already know this, but don't want to hear it. Do with it what you will.

This one, a personal favorite, is compliments of Maya Angelou. When people tell you what they're all about, believe them. People do tell you what they're all about in a number of different ways. If someone says settlement money from a lawsuit is the same as income because it spends the same way, they just told you their fiscal philosophy. Believe it. You are not going to change that person and may waste a lot of time trying. Argue with, yes. Change, no.

This will also save you a great deal of time: Never get behind a Honda with a sorority or fraternity sticker on it at the bank drive through. Three people in the car guarantees three separate transactions. Four people, four transactions, and so on and so on. In the same vein, never get behind a minivan or SUV with a soccer or swimming sticker on it at a fast food drive through. It doesn't matter how many people are actually in the vehicle. There are at least three meals and specific ketchup requests involved.

And finally: Second chances sometimes do come along. But wait, I'm not talking about romantic relationships. For some reason a common reaction to the idea of second chances slips into the realm of Meg Ryan movies (the bad ones and not the classics. Women know what I mean.) Not that second chances in romantic relationships don't happen. They do. But most of the time they shouldn't. Exes are exes for a reason. Sometimes you get a second chance at a seemingly missed opportunity, or an opportunity you didn't recognize as such the first time around.

Or even a third chance? Which leads me back to the quest for a good palm reader. Again, there were things said that resonated and I'm still this much curious about. Having my palm read before, both times, was spontaneous. Maybe an opportunity not recognized.

Finding a palm reader sounds simple enough. But here's one last thing I now know for sure. Ask around. Having your palm read is like any other sort of work you need done. Whether it's on your house, car, cat, or especially you, get referrals. If you don't get referrals, get a monkey and some darts to go at the yellow pages, which will greatly increase your odds of finding a reputable person of the psychic persuasion. Maybe if you let the monkey pick, you won't end up on the phone with someone telling you the more you pay, the more accurate your reading will be. A conversation that pretty much covers all of the items you can be sure of. And there has to be a drive through palm reader somewhere.