30" pizza challenge

OFF! took Jed Payne down to one of our favorite hangouts near the Riverfront- Nick's Family Sports Pub- and gave him one hour to eat every last bite of one of their signature 30-inch party pizzas.

"There's no way he's going to do it," remarked Tammie Blattel, general manager at Nick's. "We've had groups of eight or more people who couldn't finish one of those."

"Bring it on," said Jed.

For those of you not familiar with Nick's, a brief run-down. It's in the building that used to house Willy Jak's, and even serves up a lot of the same food and atmosphere Willy's used to have. But where the emphasis at Willy's was more nightclubish, Nick's manages to split itself into two separate entities that actually mesh- one side is a neat little family pizza joint, the other is one of the coolest and best equipped rec rooms in Cape.

The two halves aren't night and day, but they're close. The rec side's walls are lined with dartboards, sports stuff, huge TVs and a glittering array of beverage paraphernalia. Almost a dozen pool tables, a dance floor, a basketball cage, and a huge fully-stocked bar occupy the rest of the room. There's even a shuffleboard table.

The pizza part is straight up family and community-oriented-from the local high school sports uniforms gracing the wall to the video arcade for the kids, the pizza part of Nick's seems dedicated to being the kind of place a family or group could go to relax and enjoy themselves.

But as Jed stepped into the pizza part of Nick's he didn't look too relaxed. And he didn't have any family around to make him feel better. It was just him, a glass of water, a curious and slightly puzzled crowd, and a pizza that looked to be about the size of Anna Nicole Smith.

The glass of water was his idea, part of his strategy, Jed said. "I think water's less filling. And I haven't eaten since last night. And I've been practicing- I've eaten pizza a lot for the last couple of weeks. I know I can do this."

He'd have been a lot less confident had he seen what Nick's chef Tina Cook was making for him in the kitchen. OFF! watched as she took several pounds of dough and layered on six cups of tomato sauce, 10 cups of cheese, and then topped it off with over 200 pepperoni slices. Six minutes later, the pizza was ready. It was served, and at 4:45 P.M., Jed tossed a thumbs-up to the news camera and took his first bite.

He started at a decent clip- about a slice every minute or so. He spoke confidently with the gathered crowd of onlookers, remarked on what a good taste the pizza had. "My wife asked if I'd be ok to work out tonight," he scoffed. "I told her of course I would- why wouldn't I?"

Six minutes pass. Jed's eating slows. He starts to look a little green.

At 4:53 he pauses- "How long have I been eating? Only eight minutes? Seems longer."

4:55- "This sure is a lot of pizza...my tongue is getting greasy.... "

5:00- OFF!: "18 pieces into the pie- only about 60 more to go! How's our boy feeling?"

Jed: (who is doubling over) Great! (Burps, tastes, grimaces...)

5:03- Begins to make odd digestive noises...but keeps eating.

5:05- (Groans) I can't do it....

5:06- No, really, I can't.

5:07- I'm going to be sick...

5:08- OFF!- "You have to say it. And let me remind you that if you give up this easy, you will be branded a wuss for the rest of your days..."

Jed: "I quit."

Off- "Wuss."

And so at 5:08 P.M. and 45 seconds, Central Standard Time, Jed gave up his quest after eating only 23 pieces- about a third of the pizza or roughly 10 inches. And if you'd like to try to eat one, or if you need a lot of pizza for one reason or another, call Nick's at 332-8700. They can have one ready in less time than it took Jed to fold like a card table. Wuss.