Unlike his television counterpart, local Verizon Wireless test man Jerry Wildermuth never utters the phrase that has forced its way into America's popular vernacular.
Let's all say it together: Can you hear me now?
"I get teased about it, sure," said Wildermuth, who comes through Southeast Missouri about every three months.
But Wildermuth, whose actual title is baseline engineer, doesn't mind the phrase that Verizon uses in its ad blitz, which features a man walking in out-of-the-way spots with a cell phone checking to see if there's a clear signal.
In fact, he likes it.
"It makes my life easier," he said. "It's easier to explain to people what you do if you point to those commercials."
But Wildermuth's job is nothing like depicted in the commercials. He rarely touches a cell phone when he's making a test in the areas he covers -- St. Louis, Metro East Illinois and Southeast Missouri.
Wildermuth drives around in a white Verizon truck that has several small antennas on top, used specifically for voice connections while data antennas are on the inside stuck to the rear windows.
It's inside the rear hatch where most of the work is done -- propelled by more than $350,000 of equipment, including cases that contain mobile phones from Verizon and their major competitors: Cingular, Sprint, Nextel, T-Mobile and U.S. Cellular. Those phones have their software tweaked to allow detailed logging and control features. There's also equipment to test data connections.
Up front are two stacked laptops. One is for voice calls and one is for data connections, which are both hooked into a Global Positioning System so that the car's exact position is recorded along with the other data.
Calls are made from all of the phones back to a set of computers at Wildermuth's office near St. Louis. A set recording of meaningless phrases, developed at Harvard, are recorded so that gaps in the network can be detected.
A few examples of the phrases: "After the dance they went straight home." "Show us a flop from the very start." "There was water in the cellar after a heavy rain." "The juice of lemons makes fine punch." "Smoke poured out of every crack."
Verizon spokesman Cheryl Bini said that the calls from the truck are compared to the quality of the original recording. The clips mix in every letter and a lot of different sounds in both high and low pitches to simulate any possible real-life application. All of the calls are on a preset schedule and happen automatically, she said.
Bini said there are about 60 trucks like the one Wildermuth drives and they test markets across the country. He drives a set path; when he comes to Cape Girardeau he drives several of the main roads and some of the side roads, she said. He sometimes drives into areas where they may have received a complaint about poor reception.
"The landscape is always changing," she said. "We're always making upgrades. We try to be very proactive instead of waiting for people to complain."
For example, when new buildings like the new federal building go up, Verizon may decide to build a new cell tower or increase capacity, she said.
"What Jerry does is try to mimic your experience," Bini said. "He goes where our customers go because that's where they're using the phones."
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