Children and Divorce: Part 3

After the Divorce: Additional Tips to Help Children Cope Following a Divorce

In the last post we covered the need to keep a consistent visitation schedule following a divorce as well as a few other important pointers. In this post, additional tips to help children adjust to changes and do as well as possible following a divorce will be covered.

Whether it seems like it or not, children thrive on consistent rules. It is important for both households to maintain some type of consistency with rules following a divorce. The period of time following a divorce is already confusing enough without the added confusion of separate rules and expectations at each household. Parents can address this by making every effort to maintain the rules and expectations that were in place before the divorce. For example, if dad moves out and has scheduled visits with the children on Wednesdays and every other weekend, it is advisable for him to try his best to maintain the same bedtime routine, chore responsibilities, etc.

Another important thing to remember is the need for mom and dad to get along as well as possible when the children are around. This means no arguments in person or on the phone if the children are present. If children hear mom and dad fighting, this only adds to their insecurity. By keeping interactions as pleasant as possible, mom and dad can show the children that even though they are now divorced, they can still be supportive of each other and work together for the children's benefit.

A final point to keep in mind is the need for one on one time with each parent. As mentioned in the first post, children can often feel unloved following a divorce. Parents can show them how special they are by spending as much one on one time with each child as they can. For example, they could go to a movie or play at the park together.

By following the tips in this series of posts, parents can help make their children's adjustment period following a divorce as smooth as possible. Children need regular reassurance that they were not responsible for the divorce, that both mom and dad still love them very much, and that mom and dad will always be there for them no matter what.