- Cape Rolling Out Bloomfield Road Art Trail (8/21/19)1
- Donors Pledge Almost Two Grand To Replace SEMO's Possibly Sentient ‘Gum Tree' (8/16/18)
- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
- Judge, Jury... Trashman (6/1/18)
- Diary of Cape Girardeau Road Deconstruction (5/11/18)
- Trying To Save A Tree From City “Improvements” (4/30/18)2
Who Would Win If The Football Redhawks
Played The Golden Eagles Marching Band?
I was discussing the Southeast Redhawk's Very Sorry Football Season with my friends Bert and Ernie this weekend, and Ernie brought up an issue that has bothered him for years.
"How come SEMO's marching band isn't named the same as the team? Why are they the Golden Eagles? Shouldn't they be the Marching Redhawks? Where'd they come up with the name Golden Eagles anyway? Shouldn't they have been the Marching Indians back when SEMO was still the Indians?"
Obviously, Ernie had given this naming issue a lot of thought, probably while standing in the end zone of numerous home-games partaking in frosty Mich Ultras.
Unfortunately, neither Bert nor myself could answer him. The marching band was called the Golden Eagles when I was a student at Southeast in the 1980s and it has always been the Golden Eagles as far as I knew.
However, considering that SEMO lost to the Tennessee Tech Golden Eagles on Saturday our conversation went in another direction.
"Is the Tennessee Tech marching band named the Marching Redhawks?" Bert wondered.
I thought that was an excellent question. However, newspaper stories about football games usually only give the details like who won and how they scored. They rarely include important information like the name of the marching band that performed at half-time or what arrangements they played.
After Bert's question, our discussion veered in yet a third direction.
Who would win if Southeast's Football Redhawks played the Golden Eagles Marching Band?
After debating this potential gridiron match-up with Bert and Ernie -- we could call it the Battle Of The Birds, or maybe the Battle For The Birds -- I think my money is on the band and here's why.
First of all, the Golden Eagles -- SEMO's marching band, not the team from Tennessee Tech -- are undefeated in football.
It doesn't matter that they're "the band" and presumably have never played a football game as a team. That's a moot point. The psychological element in football is often and immensely underrated.
Just knowing that the team you are about to play is undefeated and has never, EVER lost a game has to be worth at least a touchdown even if that team does happen to be your own school's marching band. Conservatively, I would estimate the psychological advantage is worth at least 10 points.
Now some people might pooh-pooh the fact that the people in the marching band have likely never even played football. That might be true. But if you have the musical skills to play on an NCAA Division I college marching band, then I guarantee you have probably watched a lot of football over the years while waiting on the sidelines to figuratively --and quite possibly literally -- toot your own horn.
And these band members haven't "sort-of" followed these dozens of games while noshing on nacho dip and guzzling icy Bud Lights from the end zone while talking with their friends. No, they've been in the stands intently watching the battle du jour waiting for the band director to call for them to play at any second an arrangement they've practiced hundreds of times.
The people in the marching band know the finer-points of the sport practically by osmosis.
And don't think the marching band is not in "condition" to play football. Heck no! They often drill relentlessly to get their routines perfect. And they do it in all kinds of weather wearing cumbersome outfits and carrying heavy instruments.
Plus I give the Golden Eagles Marching Band the edge because of the sheer novelty.
If you're a football player, you are used to -- nay, expect -- to line up opposite other guys dressed just like you with helmets and pads. It would be very disorienting if the guy standing on the opposite side of the line of scrimmage is wearing a shako rather than a helmet and carrying a tuba. How do you prepare for an opponent like that?
And the Redhawks shouldn't be overly cocky that a 300-pound lineman could smash the stuffing out of some skinny trumpet player standing across from him on the field. A lot can be done with a trumpet. If trumpets helped topple the walls of Jericho, I think they could have the same affect on a guard in football game.
Now, let the Battle Of The Birds begin!
And maybe Ernie will pass me a beer and share some of those nachos.
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