Tourist Attraction?
Reggie's Positive Spin on a Downtown Homeless Shelter

"I think the people of Cape are looking at this whole homeless shelter issue the wrong way," my friend Reggie observed at lunch the other day. Reggie is an arm-chair marketer. He's never worked in that field, but he can give you a marketing solution to whatever ails you. "So you think there's an up-side to having a homeless shelter in downtown Cape?" "There's an up-side to everything. Everyone in town is looking at this issue pessimistically. That it will destroy property values and compromise the stability of the existing taxpaying downtown businesses." "And it won't? What kind of positive outcome can you possibly see in putting a homeless shelter in Cape?" "Tourism, for starters." "Why would anyone want to visit a homeless shelter located in a nondescript office building anywhere, much less in downtown Cape Girardeau?" "Simple. We can take a cue from the cross at Bald Knob." "You must have read the article in the Sunday paper. Are you suggesting we put a porcelain-covered cross over a 100 feet tall on top of the old federal building?" "Of course not. There's no point in duplicating that tourist attraction. No, I was thinking of a more complimentary symbol." "Such as?" "A giant, touch-down Jesus." "You mean like the mural that can be seen from within the University of Notre Dame's football stadium? The one where Jesus' arms are stretched out overhead?" "That's the one. Although I'm thinking it would be more like the statue of Jesus at that church outside of Cincinnati that is about 6 stories tall. It's 3-dimensional and it's awesome! And it has become a {http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/9786 major tourist attraction."} "So you think the proposed downtown homeless shelter needs a six-story porcelain-covered touchdown Jesus?" "Actually, no. Porcelain weighs a lot. Structurally, I don't think the roof of the federal building could support it. I'm thinking along the lines of a giant custom inflatable like those yard decorations you see around Christmas. And our tourist attraction needs to be bigger than the one in Ohio." "Bigger than 6 stories? Just how large of a giant inflatable touchdown Jesus are you actually proposing?" "Oh I'm thinking BIG. It needs to be at least as tall as the KFVS Tower."

"So you're suggesting that if we put a giant inflatable touchdown Jesus as tall as the KFVS tower on top of the homeless shelter that tourists will flock to downtown? And I suppose you'll recruit the homeless to run the concession and knickknack stands that are bound to pop up?" "Bingo! This would be a great way for the homeless shelter residents to be gainfully employed. They get a job. The downtown businesses get more traffic from all the tourists. And the city gets added tax revenue from all the new business. And best of all, no one will even notice all the homeless people loitering around. They'll be too busy gawking at the giant Jesus and buying souvenirs that say 'I Visited Cape Girardeau Missouri. Home to the World's Biggest Inflatable Touchdown Jesus.' I tell you, it's a win win situation," "Well, you forgot the part about the added costs to the city and the downtown businesses for the extra security. We figure improving our exterior security at the newspaper will cost close to fifteen grand if the homeless shelter comes to pass. Speaking of win, aren't you even a little concerned about having an inflatable that massive with the winds we get around here? What's a 100 foot tall inflatable touchdown Jesus going to do when a thunderstorm blows in from the west with 50 mile per hour wind gusts?" "That's a feature. Just imagine the excitement of all the tourists when the arms are blown down to the ground and actually touch some of them during a storm." "Honestly, Reggie. I don't think your idea stands a snowball's chance in you-know-where." "You are such the pessimist. Just like everyone else in the city." "That's right and my opinion is not going to change. These is no upside to a homeless shelter being located in downtown Cape. Call me a pessimist if you like, but on this issue, I see the box as half empty."