- Cape Rolling Out Bloomfield Road Art Trail (8/21/19)1
- Donors Pledge Almost Two Grand To Replace SEMO's Possibly Sentient ‘Gum Tree' (8/16/18)
- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
- Judge, Jury... Trashman (6/1/18)
- Diary of Cape Girardeau Road Deconstruction (5/11/18)
- Trying To Save A Tree From City “Improvements” (4/30/18)2
Temptation and Location
"Reverend Rice wanting to put a homeless shelter in downtown Cape is a Godawful bad idea," my friend Eddie announced at lunch yesterday.
St. Louis preacher Larry Rice has formally applied to use the old Federal Building at 339 Broadway as a homeless shelter. Under federal law an application to use a surplus federal building as a homeless shelter has priority over all other potential uses.
"You're preaching to the choir," I told him. "So why do you think it's a bad idea besides the fact we don't have enough homeless to justify a shelter of that size?"
"Just look at the location. A lot of homeless people have substance abuse problems of one kind or another. And where are most of the bars at in Cape? Downtown. And what can you find in bars? Temptation, my friend, temptation."
"That's a good point, Eddie."
"Darn right, it is. It's just like that Weight Watchers place being located in the same strip mall on Broadview as CiCi's Pizza. I drive by there sometimes when I guess they're having a support group meeting. Can you imagine the temptation those poor people face having all that tasty pizza, just a couple doors away? I wonder if they get an occasional whiff of sizzling sausage or mozzarella that has just turned that golden brown color and smells oh so good?"
"I bet it would be kind of tempting especially if you were dieting."
"That's exactly what I think. Every time I drive by that strip mall I keep expecting one of the people to finally crack at their meeting, and come sprinting out of Weight Watchers, over to CiCi's Pizza, where they would slap a sawbuck on the counter and tell the waitress to start bringing out thin-crust supremes, double-time."
Eddie continued his rant.
"All I'm saying is that I think locating a homeless shelter in downtown Cape is opening up a Pandora's box. You would think Rice would understand the concept of temptation. It's right there in the Bible with Eve eating the forbidden fruit. Opening up a homeless shelter in downtown Cape is just stupid.
"He might as well open it in the middle of apple orchard."
With extreme apologies to the memory of Paul Henning
Come and listen to a story about a man named Rice
A poor preacher fella, some folks don't think is very nice
Then one day he was looking for some dough
And spotted the Federal Building in Cape Girardeau
Surplus, that is. Prime real estate. Practically free.
Well, the next thing you know Rice has an application in
"To turn down me, why it would be a sin!"
"I must help all the homeless in Southeast Missouri."
"I know they're there, just you wait and see!"
Buses, that is. He'll find them. Somewhere.
Well, a lot of people in Cape would like to see Rice stay away.
His help is not needed, that is what they say.
He invited himself back to this locality.
But no one here wants to extend any hospitality.
Go away, Rice. We don't need you. The hordes don't exist.
Y'all stay away now, y'hear?
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