LETTERS: RIVAL OR ENEMY?

Dear Editor:

It seems obvious that healthy competition can promote initiative and progress. Rivalry can also bring positive results if it doesn't deteriorate into animosity and hatred. An opponent doesn't have to be an enemy just because he may hold another point of view. One has to admit that an opponent may have a measure of truth.

In a time of political campaigning, an argument may become so emotional, the rhetoric may become more heated than explanatory, and emotion may overcome reason. In fact, one may often be so critical of his opponent that he may stoop to name calling.

He begins to describe his adversary as an enemy, who has no knowledge of the issues in question. In such instances he not only angers his opponent but likewise disgusts the possible listener whose support he is trying to win.

I wonder if we haven't gone too far in other aspects of controversy. Ordinary controversy becomes so confrontational that animosity may even turn into hatred. Simple debate becomes so heated that emotion destroys reason.

Sometimes this occurs in marital relationships. I recall a couple who asked for an appointment to talk over their incompatibility. They came with a long list of grievances. First they listed all the things they hated about each other and then followed that with an attack on all the things they didn't like about work. This listing magnified the differences. The love/hate relationship can be turned around all too easily, even when one may hardly be aware of what is happening.

The rivalry between Quebec and the rest of Canada has become so intense that a careful study of the consequences is not given much consideration. Respect and tolerance is lost.

Some congressional debates seem to border between opponent and enemy. It sometimes seems amusing when one observes a member of the British House of Commons, who always addresses another as the Most Honorable Member of the House, while inside he may be seething with hatred.

Too often, we lose good judgment and act out of emotion only. Some have even said that it appears that our country prefers assassination over tolerance and democratic processes.

I hope I am wrong but I feel that simple differences are allowed to fester until they become vitriolic hatred through which everyone tends to be the loser. How hard it is to find a peaceful solution between adversaries, but harder still between enemies. Reason and honesty must prevail.

We must turn out enemies into our friends.

IVAN H. NORTHDURFT

Cape Girardeau