DON'T VOTE TOMOROW

There is an election Tuesday. Don't vote.

Don't bother. The weather forecast isn't too rosy. It will either be hot and muggy or raining. Who wants to vote in weather like that?

And the inconvenience. Finding a place to park. Getting in and out of a hot car. Why do they have elections August anyway? What moron thought that up?

And the lines. You might have to stand in line and wait, maybe two or three minutes. It just isn't fair to expect someone to vote and go through that.

Besides, somebody else will go vote. Why does everybody have to go?

Who knows all those primary candidates? You might as well put on a blindfold and throw darts at the ballot. And that statewide bond issue. Look at all that itty-bitty type. Who wants to read that?

Just leave voting to party hacks, special-interest groups, political action committees and folks who just plain don't know any better. They don't have anything better to do.

You, on the other hand, have to work. Don't those voters have jobs? And you have to pick up Susie from tennis practice. And the guys are golfing today. And you don't want to forget to pick up the pizza for dinner. These things are important. Who has time to vote?

Busybodies. That is what voters are. Just meddling in politics with no idea what they are doing.

Isn't it about time somebody put an end to this voting foolishness anyway? Those politicians are going to do whatever they like anyway. Just leave it to them.

Voting is for old-fashioned people who believe in democracy and values and having a voice in government. Fuddy-duddies. That is what voters are.

Be careful Tuesday. Avoid polling places. Better yet, don't even bother to find out where you are supposed to vote. Stay indoors. That way you won't walk into a voting place by mistake.

Don't vote. It is the modern thing to do.