Locker Room Antelope

Wendy Boren

Once upon a time, I was told life just cycles and the things we did, the styles we wore, the songs we listened to eventually will come back again, no matter how goofy or weird they were considered after their fame had died out. I’m experiencing this now with my own children.

Songs from the ’80s are now “cool,” although the word “cool” isn’t. Now they’re “beast.” I have to laugh because I remember the same conversations with my parents over songs by Tiffany and The Beach Boys. I laughed hysterically over a sold-out tour of New Kids on the Block in New York City last month, except now the “new” kids are pretty old kids — at least as old as I am. I’ve watched Donnie Walhberg in all his balding glory play a detective on Blue Bloods for the past three years. But as soon as I heard the music, albeit with a little deeper baritone now, I felt like I was 15 again. Which, I guess, is the whole point.

This idea of cyclic recreation of youth was on my mind when I went to work out the other day. As I was changing into my swimsuit, the idea that we are only as old as we act truly sunk in. From the locker room, I heard ladies 65 years plus discussing People magazine’s sexiest man and how Pierce Brosnan and Robert Redford still had panache. These interludes were followed by girlish giggles and deep sighs. I smiled as I headed out to the pool, passing by two older gentlemen talking about their combat in Desert Storm and impunity of modern military leadership. Although, it has to be said, the last comment I caught before diving in was that at least there were more hot chicks to look at now.

Now that this was in my brain, I made a study of what I deemed “elder antics.” Ladies in saggy swimsuits and salon-styled hair giggled and gossiped every bit as much in their 70s as they did in their teens. They compared clothes and styles, and when it came to picking the best urologist or plastic surgeon, it was like watching a herd of antelope — everybody went the same direction with nobody wanting to be the odd one out. The men who regularly exercised in the pools fell into two categories: those who strutted their stuff like they were 18; and those who wish they had stuff to strut and spent most of their time talking finances and politics. Not much different than a high school hallway!

The best part of these life cycles are that not only are we reminded of more innocent days, we are reminded it’s OK to be silly and talk nonsense. Our world has become so dramatic over politics, social media, education, health care and other matters, we sometimes forget the most important decision we should have to make is whether Richard Gere or Kevin Costner make the top 10!