More Moments

Graduation season has passed, and this year I was one of those moms who planned and plagued my family with house cleaning, lawn-trimming and four-year-old fixer-upper projects that had become urgent, all because my daughters were getting a diploma and “People” were coming to the house. These are the same people that come on a regular basis and see my home at its best and its worse, but this was different because it was special — the kind of thing that doesn’t happen every day.

In years past, I’ve burned the midnight oil for parties painting that trim that never got painted, polishing brass on the fireplace (seriously?!) and swiping away at any speck of dust that dared land on my coffee tables.

But this year I did better.

Yeah, we did get the living and family rooms painted and a new screen door. I even hit up Pinterest — and succeeded, believe it or not — in creating an organized theme, complete with self-created flower bouquets and sparkly pretzel rods (with the help of my three daughters, a pretty big mess and lots of laughs).

But I was so impressed with my ability to dip pretzels in melted almond bark that I went to bed early and began my girls’ special day with a somewhat saner mind. I asked myself why I ever felt the need to turn into the party demon from hell on all those prior occasions.

Parties as a child consisted of hours of preparation at Grandma’s house ironing linens, handwashing the special Christmas dishes, picking out just the right napkin rings and having many fun moments mixing up the place cards on the big table. My mom, aunts and grandma would spend days — even weeks — planning, buying supplies and preparing the meal. At the designated time, we’d sit down to the feast and it was over in 30 minutes, followed by more hours of washing dishes, linens and preparing for the next feast. This is what I knew, and it used to drive me crazy. It was a whole lot of fuss for family and a few hours.

But now I find myself officially slipping into “mom-mode” and doing similar things. While my own mother has taken over the fancy dishes and linen brigade, I try to make a good showing on décor and ambience. And I finally realize it is because these are my people that I want to make it a special moment for them. I have no desire to spend hours covered in Dawn dish soap or ironing linens, but if I hadn’t all those years, I would have missed endless talks with my uncle, getting my first taste of wine in crystal and learning how to avoid awkwardness by pairing likely conversation partners.

These are more than just parties. They are moments. I think we need a few more.