Co-ed parties before the wedding: Are they a do or a don't?

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When it comes to bridal showers, they're not just for the brides anymore.

"Lots of engaged couples choose to include the men in the fun, too," says Amanda Lukefahr of Lukefield Special Events in Jackson.

Sometimes the groom makes an appearance at the end of the ladies' shower, while other brides and grooms hold a "couples party" where guests also bring their significant others.

"These can be more fun for the guys, as the gifts are usually geared toward the guys -- barbecue supplies, sporting goods, lawn care items," says Lukefahr.

Christine Simmons of The Party Wizards in Cape Girardeau says co-ed wedding showers are a good way for the couple's friends and family to get to know each other before the rehearsal dinner and wedding ceremony. But, rather than an afternoon of cake, punch and party games, a night of pizza and a baseball game may be better suited for girls and guys.

"It depends on what the hobbies and interests of the couples are -- that way it's something related to what they all like to do," says Simmons.

However, Lukefahr says there is a downside to couples parties: You don't want your single friends to feel awkward or left out.

"If all of your friends are married or in a relationship, then it may be the option for you. If you're the first of your friends to get married, or not everyone is a part of a couple, then it gets a little tricky and it's something you have to be sensitive about when planning those pre-wedding events," she says.

As for bachelor and bachelorette parties, most couples are still choosing to keep their events separate.

"It's the last big event with just the guys or just the girls," says Lukefahr. "When couples choose to have joint parties, I'd say the biggest challenge would be finding something that both sexes enjoy. When parties are separate, it's easy for girls to agree on a spa day or a shopping trip, whereas the guys would have more fun spending the day golfing or fishing. My guess is that separate parties would be better attended, mostly because of the activities planned."

If you do want to celebrate together, but not the whole time, Lukefahr suggests going on your separate outings, then meeting up later for dinner and an activity, such as a scavenger hunt or trivia night.

"The most important part is to keep it fun for everyone. Plan ahead and get input from the couple," she advises.