Children and social responsiblity: A how-to guide for parents

Have you noticed a disturbing trend with many children today? Something that you've probably heard repeated 1,000 times by grandma and grandpa or others of the "old school" parenting mindset?

What I'm referring to is how so often children today seem to feel like the world revolves around them. I'm not saying all children feel or behave this way, of course, but our society does seem to inadvertently promote this in movies, television and other areas of everyday life.

But this "me, me, me" mindset does more than just annoy the "old schoolers"; it can also have a negative impact for children in their social interactions and in other social aspects of their lives.

While it is healthy for children to assert themselves and be sure their own needs are met, there are also times when a little more "outward thinking" is in order.

So how can you teach social responsibility and keep the "old school" parenting crowd happy? Start by simply teaching children to share, take turns and work mutually with siblings or peers. Work with toddlers to share and take turns, whether at home or in public places like the park. You can also teach and encourage cooperative play when age appropriate. Typically by age 2 to 3, children begin engaging in associative play and can begin learning to play together and share things.

By following this advice from early on, you are setting the stage for an easier job as your child ages. Chores and sharing responsibilities around the home are a natural progression as soon as your child is old enough. Even toddlers can help with simple things like sweeping the floor or mopping. Sure, "help" might be a liberal exaggeration here, but these shared life responsibilities are an awesome way for a parent to spend one-on-one time with their child, strengthen their relationship with meaningful interactions, and teach a child that life is not always about the fun things -- trips to the zoo, watching a movie or mom dropping everything to run to the store to rent the newest video game that hit the shelves! Chores should be carefully chosen at first and should be promoted as fun and not an obligation. Parents should be careful to "practice what they preach" here; be sure you aren't complaining the whole time you are sweeping the floor if you want your 5-year-old to enjoy helping. As your child ages, you can add more challenging chores. Just be sure to keep a positive focus if you want the child to continue to do them willingly.

So, how can you promote your child's sense of social responsibility further and see to it that he or she plays a part in the betterment of society on a larger scale? If you've followed the suggestions above, the leap from household responsibility to social responsibility will be pretty easy! Good news, right? You can promote this mindset by discussing community events and engaging your child in these discussions at dinner time.

Encourage your child to reflect on the bigger picture and promote an awareness of community, such as what's going on in your neighborhood or town. As a parent, you can teach a lot by modeling. It's like the old adage "lead by example": If a child sees mom and dad talking about community events at the dinner table as opposed to only what is happening in their own lives, it encourages the child to also think bigger and not be as self-focused. Think of it as promoting a family culture of social interest and responsibility more than anything else.

It is also a good idea to encourage children to participate in social activities and groups whenever possible. Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are great ones that promote this type of community and social involvement, or a church group if the family attends a specific church. See if there are some community projects that you can sign your family up for. Again, the modeling that occurs here is priceless. When mom or dad make time for a community project or volunteer activity, children begin to see this as an important part of their life as well. Some ideas include contacting your local parks department to see if there are scheduled events like "Friends of the Park" or the Conservation Department to see if there's a "Stream Team" over the summer that meets regularly to pick up trash from local waterways. The possibilities are endless here. These are just meant to get you started.

Hopefully this will give you some useful ideas to kick off your own little "Social Responsibility Campaign."

Just remember to start out teaching cooperation at a young age, move to family responsibility via chores and sharing in household duties in a fun, engaging way, and then begin nurturing a healthy interest in community and social involvement through modeling the type of behavior you want your child to emulate.

Let's all make an effort to promote our children's social responsibility and help make the world a less self-centered and more caring place for all of us!

Shannon Anderson is a licensed professional counselor, a national certified counselor and owner and clinical director of Tender Hearts Child Therapy Center in Cape Girardeau.