Wifflefest 7 Crowns New Champion
Ho Hum. Another Justin Osborne All American Wifflefest is in the books. Held on a beautiful, sunny, seventy five degree day, with not a cloud in the sky, participants gathered for the seventh annual double elimination coed wiffleball tournament. Sure the crowd of about one hundred gathered as usual for the fun time as batters tried their luck at hitting the elusive ball. Complimentary ballpark snacks and a buffet lunch were provided for attendees and their children. As usual a hayride, bounce house, canoe rides and hiking trails all on a lovely farm setting were enjoyed throughout the day. It was business as usual at the Martin Tree Farm near Gordonville, MO.
What was not business as usual was how the tournament played out. New this year to Wifflefest, the One Hit Wonders made short work of the field with a perfect (4-0) record. Being led by Corey "Ritz Cracker" Campbell and the enthusiasm of prior cheerleader Abbi Karcher, the Wonders were crowned Wifflefest champions, by defeating a Karie Stroder-less Sean's Sluggers team in the finals, by a score of 9-0.
"It was a great tournament, a fun day, but just a really unexciting ending - unless you were a One Hit Wonder," stated Wiffelefest tournament director and creator, Justin Osbone. With 10 teams battling it out for the title on homemade wiffleball fields, the pressure to succeed really got to some players, at least until they started playing. "I was going to dive for a ball, but didn't want to hit a tree", said first year player Travis Strand of the Bomb Squad, who played dressed as a Viking. The in-game announcers reminded him that pine trees in the forest field are considered "soft wood", but he was unwilling sacrifice his body as he did earlier in the day, by running through the outfield fence. His effort, along with his ability to play songs from his Iphone over the sound system as were people batting, have him on the short list for Wifflefest Hall of Fame honors next year.
Other teams competing in the tournament but not taking home the coveted golden wiffleballs were:
The Unfortunates -- who haven't found out if they won or lost
The Bomb Squad -- probably regretting the choice of rolling a pack-n-play on a gravel road
Sean's Sluggers - had a great run without namesake Sean, before superstar Josh Miller ran out of gas in the finals
The Naturals -- without India Clippard available, they were unable to recapture Wiffefest 6 glory
The Thundercats -- probably still complaining about the "if a ball hits a tree" rule
AV Rocks -- lack of sleep due to poor lodging choice combined with multiple children too much to overcome
Las Tortugas -- good, but not good enough
Kryptonite -- the absence of a dog in a superman cape this year may have been their undoing
Two time defending champion The River Monsters -- shock and awe no longer applicable
Amy Newstead from Ironton, MO and an AV Rocks team member was inducted into the Wifflefest Hall of Fame for attending after being vomited on by her child at last year's Wifflefest. Also inducted into the Hall of Fame was John Bollinger of Jackson, MO, member of team Kryptonite, who lead his team into the semifinals of Wifflefest 6 by being the "Man who threw Underhand".
All participants were encouraged to give money to Reece's Rainbow, an international adoption agency for children with Downs Syndrome. The event was sponsored by Osborne Office Equipment and Mid America Hotels/Burger King.