It's June. It feels like June. It looks like June. It even smells like June. This is how I know -- besides peeking at the calendar -- that it is really, truly June.
The arrival of June means:
You'll be going to a wedding.
You'll be honoring your father.
You'll be sitting in Busch Stadium watching the Cardinals.
You'll be celebrating Juneteenth.
So what is so special about June?
Thanks for asking. I thought you would never get to it.
June, dear readers and kind friends, means it's time for downtown golf, that classic annual event that provides nine holes of play along city streets, in parks, along alleyways and through at least one downtown business.
Now can you believe it's June?
Yes, indeedy, folks, it's the month of the First Ever Sixth Annual Louis J. Lorimier World Famous Downtown Golf Tournament and All-You-Can-Eat Catfish Buffet.
Once again, I am personally guaranteeing everyone who plays will have a grand time. That's a money-back guarantee, which means your $25 entry fee will be entirely or partially or somewhat returned to you should you swear on a stack of Bibles and someone's grave -- Lorimier's, perhaps -- that you aren't having fun whacking at a Birdieball on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.
Unfortunately, I am unable to guarantee the "beautiful Sunday afternoon," but I've spoken to the weather gurus at KFVS12, and they assure me they will do everything in their power to forecast blue skies, a gentle breeze and moderate temperatures for the afternoon of June 26. That's when the tournament is: June 26.
The downtown golf tournament, which is a fundraiser for the Red House Interpretive Center, starts at 1:30 p.m. Watch for entry forms and other information in special notices in the Southeast Missourian. Or just show up before 1:30 and sign up under a shade tree in Courthouse Park overlooking downtown and the mighty Mississippi River. Showing up is a good thing. And it's for a good cause. And you'll have good fun. And it's good for downtown. And what's good for downtown is good for America.
I just made that last bit up.
But it's true. The world needs more good things, and I can't think of a better thing than a downtown golf tournament -- do you realize how rare such an event is?
So be a part of Cape Girardeau history. Make a contribution to the Red House. Have fun playing golf like you've never played before, unless, of course, you participated in the first-ever first, second, third, fourth or fifth tournament.
But that's not all.
After you play downtown golf, head for the Yacht Club at Port Cape Restaurant and enjoy the promised all-you-can-eat catfish buffet. AT NO EXTRA CHARGE! Do you see what a deal this is?
If you want an afternoon of fun for the whole family, mark June 26 on your calendar. DO IT RIGHT NOW! That's an order. Send in your entry fee or show up on downtown golf day with 25 smackeroos.
See you there.
Joe Sullivan is the retired editor of the Southeast Missourian.