I recently had a conversation with my mother which really got me thinking.
She told me that her time as my mother was coming close to the end. She explained that she would always be my mother but in a different way. She told me that she has done all she could do, and now it was my turn to take what she has taught and live on my own.
It is so exciting thinking about being in college and sleeping in my own house by myself, but at the same time it scares me to think that if I wake up in the middle of the night because my eye is swelled shut from an allergic reaction, my mom and dad are an hour and a half away and can't really help me.
And I can't wait to go to the store and buy whatever I want to eat knowing it will only be mine and I won't have to share it with anyone else, but it frightens me to think about obtaining a way to pay for all this food and the other items I have never had to worry about buying.
Living on my own just sounds so much fun in the fact that if I want to leave clothes on my floor or laundry in the laundry room, I won't have someone yelling at me to pick them up or put them away, I won't have someone telling me to go to bed or to get off the phone at night. I won't have someone making me come home at midnight or having me call and check in with them when my plans change. I won't have to worry about where I leave my shoes when I come into the house, and who I will be upsetting. I won't have to worry about falling asleep with my TV on or who the noise is keeping awake.
And I won't have to worry about asking permission to do everything. I can come and go as I please.
On the other hand, I also won't have someone around to wash my clothes and find my track uniform when I misplace it. And I will probably end up talking on the phone all night, making it terrible to wake up in the morning. And I will definitely lose sleep from staying out to late. With not having to worry about checking in when my plans change, I will end up in situations that I would be nowhere near if I would have had to call my father. And my house will be messy because my mom won't be around to yell at me for throwing my shoes off when I come home. And my electric bill will be high from sleeping with all my major appliances on.
These are just a few of the bittersweet situations I will be placed in during the next couple of months. Growing up is exciting, but the more I think about it the more dangerous it sounds. It's the real deal once I move out, and I have heard that you can never come home again.
Fortunately, my parents have taught me the difference between right and wrong and now it is my turn to make them proud.
Amber Karnes is a senior at Notre Dame Regional High School.