Families of soldiers cope with Christmas without loved ones

David and Dina Floyd of Fruitland will be spending Christmas this year without their sons at home. Tylor, pictured far right, is serving in the U.S. Army, and his brother, Joe, left of Tylor, is in the U.S. Air Force. (Fred Lynch) [Click to enlarge] [Order this photo]

She and Spc. David Silas were married July 3. But in September, her husband was deployed to Afghanistan.

Karen Silas, who is a sergeant with the Missouri National Guard in Cape Girardeau, said while the time apart from her husband is difficult, family nearby have made the experience easier. She managed to ship some gifts to her husband and plans to spend the holiday with her parents and siblings in the area.

"It's tough, but I'm trying to keep with business as normal," Silas said. "The support everyone has given me is huge. People here in the community are supportive of what he's doing, so it's nice to know I have that community support."

Doris Koeberl, lead volunteer for the HHS-FSC 1140th Engineer Battalion Family Readiness Group in Cape Girardeau, said the Christmas holidays are particularly difficult for families with young children. Her organization offers support for such families. Once a month the group meets to discuss problems they're experiencing and receives information about where to get additional help.

"When talking to your young children, it's hard to explain to them why your spouse isn't there," Koeberl said. "Everyone seems to have their own traditions, and if the deployed spouse isn't at home, that's also hard to deal with."

Koeberl said technology makes it easier for those deployed military to communicate with their loved ones on Christmas. When her husband, Dennis, was deployed in 2004, she kept in frequent contact with him by e-mail.

"I was able to keep in touch with him two to three times a week," Koeberl said. "In the past we had to use letters, and that would take weeks to arrive. Now, technology has improved so much that soldiers can communicate with their family much more often."

Surrogate family

Friday marks the first time David and Dina Floyd of Fruitland will not celebrate Christmas with their two sons -- Tylor is serving with the Army in Afghanistan while Joe is with the Air Force in an undisclosed location.

Instead of spending Christmas by themselves, the Floyds plan to travel to Indiana for the holiday with Dina's parents. But even though David Floyd said it will be lonely without his sons nearby Christmas Day, he's confident they will be in good hands.

"From my personal experience serving with the Guard, I know that if they're with their unit, it's like they're with family," Floyd said. "I know that people are looking out for both my sons, and for us we find great comfort in that."

Meanwhile, Clara and William Schafer of Cape Girardeau will be without their son, Adam, on Christmas, while he serves in Iraq.

Clara Schafer said it's just as difficult on her family now as when he was mobilized on Christmas in 2007. She hopes Adam will call the Schafer home and speak to a house full of relatives Christmas Day.

"You're always concerned when they're overseas," Schafer said. "But you just remember that is their choice and it's something that he believes he needs to do. That's what gives us comfort -- that he's made a decision to do the right thing and has confidence that he loves what he's doing.

"Our soldiers like my son have put in a lot of time and training and are giving up time with their families on holidays," she said. "That allows us to have the freedoms that we enjoy today."

bblackwell@semissourian.com

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