Blue Christmas service helps those grieving

"I wish there was a better answer as to why it is called Blue Christmas, but it's a takeoff of an old Elvis Presley song. ... There are a bunch of people hurting. This lets them come and express their hurt and let them know the church cares," said the Rev. Jeff Long, lead pastor of Centenary United Methodist Church.

"As we drive around and see the lights, the lights tell us to be festive. We turn on our car radios and listen to music and the music tells us to celebrate. For some of us, that's very hard," he said.

The purpose of the Blue Christmas service is to let people know it is acceptable to be less than enthusiastic during the holidays, Long said.

Centenary United Methodist Church has had a Blue Christmas service four out of the past five years, but this year's service was the first to feature a guest speaker.

Tina Butler of Eureka, Mo., lost a preschool child in an accident almost six years ago and spoke of overcoming her grief.

Butler began her presentation by recognizing the difficult step many in the audience made by attending the service.

"It is not easy. Being here is a big step forward. Christmas time is a hard time of year," she said.

Butler said adding to the anxiety of the holidays is the expectations friends and family members place on those suffering.

"Relatives expect us to be the same, but everyone heals in their own way," she said. She told the audience to keep faith and life will get back to normal, but it will be a different type of normal.

Butler spoke about her personal experience of overcoming the loss of child, but recognized that despite the many different types of loss and hurting, the pain is the same and should be treated with respect.

"Everybody's loss is their loss. You can't determine who has a greater loss," Butler said.

Butler encouraged those who are hurting this Christmas to forgive others and themselves and to let go of anger.

"If you harbor darkness, you will fall. If you move to the light, you move forward," she said.

Charlotte Bess of Cape Girardeau lost her husband in August and said Christmas was more difficult this year.

"I thought it was wonderful to have someone that has had such a great loss come and share," Bess said.

She said hearing Butler's story helped her feel a little more uplifted as Friday approaches.