- A Whopper of an honor: Local company named top Burger King franchisee (11/15/17)3
- Southern Illinois farmer's grapevines destroyed by dicamba; four years of work lost (10/29/17)2
- Aldi store reopens after renovations (11/14/17)3
- Decisions coming soon on steel mill, smelter in New Madrid (11/17/17)1
- Residents view pedestrian bridge as eyesore; city manager says it's designed to rust (11/13/17)8
- State audit: Bollinger County tax levies violate state law; county commission disagrees (11/17/17)3
- Cape native co-directs Thanksgiving-related indie film, 'Drinksgiving' (11/17/17)
- The Tungsten Groove to release first album featuring original songs (11/17/17)
- Son of Westboro Baptist Church patriarch discusses abuse, faith (11/15/17)6
- Federal jury finds surgeon Fonn guilty of kickback scheme (11/10/17)4
Happy Mother's Day: A few smiles for the special moms we love
Every year, we dutifully and thankfully acknowledge our mothers.
We buy gifts.
We select greeting cards that say the nicest things.
We become part of the crowd at our favorite restaurant.
We make it a special day in every way we can.
Which is exactly what we ought to be doing today.
One of the greatest gifts anyone can receive is a mother's smile.
So how about today we try to create a few grins? Just imagine if some famous mothers had spoken these words:
* Paul Revere's mother: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"
* Mona Lisa's mother: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
* Christopher Columbus' mother: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"
* Batman's mother: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"
* Albert Einstein's mother: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair?"
* Thomas Edison's mother: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"
Here are a few more thoughts about mothers to make you smile:
* I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids.
* The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn't getting enough sleep.
-- John Fiebig
* The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Yes," she replied. "But not the same ones."
-- David Finkelstein
* A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday school presentation. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Her son's memory was blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, "I am the light of the world." The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud clear voice said, "My mother is the light of the world."
-- Bits and Pieces, 1989
* A teacher gave her class of second-graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I pick up things. What am I?" When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the same word: Mother
Have a wonderful Mother's Day.