- Deputies: Man, woman tried to arrange killing of his estranged wife (5/21/17)1
- Cape fines contractor $1,100 a day for street-project delays; contractor blames utility relocations (5/18/17)13
- Former coroner convicted of felony theft now faces prison in misdemeanor case (5/23/17)2
- Cape police say man assaulted, kidnapped girlfriend (5/21/17)2
- Mississippi County sheriff fights efforts in court to remove him from office (5/21/17)4
- Cape man accused of shooting a woman in Jackson (5/21/17)
- Business notebook: Woman, sister-in-law buy Perryville custom-wear shop (5/22/17)
- Attorney general seeks bond revocation for embattled sheriff (5/17/17)3
- Broadening horizons: Heartland Dream Team founder stays committed to area youth (5/21/17)2
- Revival of Oran police board urged amid timecard fraud, nepotism allegations (5/17/17)4
Rube Yokel lived down off highway 72 right by the biggest tree in the forest that got hit by lightening and burnt to the ground . Rube lived with his grandpa who lost his right leg just above the knee in a mining accident over in the Silver Mines of Arcadia Valley . His grandpa would moan and complain all the time how much his missing right knee itched and ached and he wished he could rub it to make it stop .
Well , one year , Rube's cousins came down to visit from the big city and told Rube that when they'd buried his grandpa's knee in the family cemetery after the accident , they had buried it bent , this was why his grandpa complained all the time about the missing right knee bothering him so much .
The next full moon , me and Rube snuck over to the family cemetery and dug that missing right leg up . Sure enough , it was bent as it could be . Rube pulled it out and wrestled it as straight as he could before we buried it back and ran away from there.
That old man never did complain again about his missing knee itching or aching after we straightened it out that night in the cemetery . When Rube finally broke down and told his grandpa what happened , the old boy went back to cussing and fussing all over again because his leg was buried bent all those years .
Some people you just can't make happy , no matter what you do .