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Fair ~ River stage: 33.81 Rising Saturday, November 21, 2009 |
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Local girl says she's out of optionsWednesday, May 16, 2007It started with a phone call. "I've taken in a lot of girls over the years, but this is the toughest case I've ever seen," said the woman, who asked not to be identified. "I just don't know where to take her. I can't go to the Humane Society, she's not a pet." She was talking about a 19-year-old girl we'll call "Jamie." I'm using pseudonyms for the two women because they fear being located by Jamie's violent ex-husband. I agreed to meet them Tuesday at a pavilion in Jackson City Park to discuss the girl's problems. Jamie has strawberry blond hair and aqua-green eyes that well up when she talks about the wrong turns her life has taken. If not for the 15-month-old baby in tow and scarring under her left eye, she could be a beauty queen. Jamie grew up in a trailer park in Scott County. The place, she said, was filthy: strewn with dog feces and infested with roaches. As a child she was removed from the substandard home by social services only to be returned a few months later. Beginning at 16, she worked at the local Burger King, walking an hour to and from work and relishing the time away from the trailer. She dreamed of getting out. But as always seems to be the case, where there are desperate people, predators follow. At 17, Jamie met a man at the local Pentecostal church. She fell in love. Before graduation came, she discovered she was pregnant and the two decided to get married. It would be the start of a nightmare. Not long after the wedding day, Jamie discovered her new husband abused and sold drugs. He was also a control freak who told her not to go to church, see her friends or leave home without him present. Jamie wanted to go to college and even earned a full scholarship. He told her to forget about it. And he was abusive. One day she put a pair of his jeans in the wash without emptying the pockets. The spin-cycle ruined a "roach" he was saving for later. He grabbed her hair, slammed her against the washing machine and started whaling away. He liked to beat her in full view of the couple's infant daughter, she says, as a lesson. After a year of marriage, Jamie ran away. In January, penniless and homeless, a mutual friend told her to call "Grace." Grace knows abuse. She spent time living out of her car with two small children while hiding from a man who wanted to kill her. Grace gave Jamie a home and helped her find a job at a convenience store. She also agreed to drive her 44 miles round-trip to work. Grace expected to put the girl up for a few weeks but the arrangement has stretched into months. Jamie now works 35 to 40 hours per week for $6.50 an hour and receives about $200 a month in welfare. Even living rent-free she says she can't save any money. "I just want her to have a better life," Jamie said of her daughter. "I'm at the point right now where I'm at the end of my rope. I'm between a hard spot and a rock, and I don't know what to do." In recent days the two women have called a long list of local service agencies asking for housing assistance. They've been passed from person to person. They found a local shelter that charges $75 per week. They've examined federal programs like HUD and found long waiting lists. Local family services officials I spoke with Tuesday confirmed the options for homeless people this time of year are scarce. Now Jamie is asking for help from the community. She says she needs help paying for day care and paying for rent until she can get on her feet. She says she has nowhere to turn and continues to fear for her life from her ex-husband. "Right now I feel like there's no help out there for a person in my situation. I just don't know what to do," she said. I told her I'd put the word out. Anyone with suggestions can e-mail me at tgreaney@semissourian.com. TJ Greaney is a reporter for the Southeast Missourian. Comments  Note: The nature of the Internet makes it impractical for our staff to review every comment. If you feel that a comment is offensive, please Login or Create an account first, and then you will be able to flag a comment as objectionable. Please also note that those who post comments on semissourian.com may do so using a screen name, which may or may not reflect a website user's actual name. Readers should be careful not to assign comments to real people who may have names similar to screen names. Refrain from obscenity in your comments, and to keep discussions civil, don't say anything in a way your grandmother would be ashamed to read.
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A great big thanks
(05/30/07)
Safety up, privacy down (05/09/07) Eating China's dust in the trade wars (05/02/07) Speak no evil (04/25/07) Ask us to sacrifice (04/18/07) Displaced Cajun finds his stride (04/11/07) Thanks for the First Amendment (04/04/07) Where is the outrage? (03/28/07) My first lesson in public relations (03/21/07) Relearning about flight (03/14/07)
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Did the girl report her ex-husband to the police? I would would guess that even in Scott County he could be arrested for drug abuse and assault.
This may sound cold, but for the sake of the child, has this girl considered putting her in foster care until she gets back on her own feet?
Steve Mo: Reporting the ex-husband might end up doing more harm than good in the long term at least economically. Felony convictions don't exactly help ex-husbands to make child support payments.
As for real suggestions have they talked to the Cape Girardeau Safe House? http://www.semosafehouse.org/
Given the monthly income of $900-$1000 she should be able to afford a small apartment. Looking at the classified ads she could get a room or a 1 bedroom apartment at $250-$300 which would be better than a $75 a week shelter. She should also qualify for nearly free child care. http://www.dss.mo.gov/cd/childcare/
Really the biggest downside of being poor in Southeastern Missouri seems to be the lack of transportation options. Owning a car is a must in this area in order to have a selection of good employers & cheap living and shopping options. While their are lots of cheap vehicles once they break down if the money isn't available for repair or replacement they are back into a tough jam because of the lack of decent public transportation. So a reliable vehicle should be on the top of the list of needs.
I have been in touch with the Safehouse and they're interested in helping out.
Good advice, Nil, although Jamie surely has been to DSS if she's receiving a welfare check, and they surely would have told her about the safehouse.
It's hard to comprehend why, with an income of around $1,000 a month and no real expenses except for day care, she cannot save any money toward getting her own place.
How about more facts and less human-interest here, TJ?
As to her income she was only working part-time until this month and has legal fees to pay for her divorce and other expenses that have consumed a lot of her disposable income.
Also, since she began working more hours she is in risk of having her welfare check reduced or removed.
Her story certainly isn't extraordinary, but she really does seem uniquely alone and in need of a helping hand.
I'll keep everyone updated and thanks again for the great suggestions.
If only....I say so often; "If I had money I would....." My heart aches for the lady and her little girl. Been there, done that. In her shoes throughout my adult life. Decided to go on Social Security because I made more than working a job! (Still a very tight budget, but at least I no longer need a car, etc.) Sure wish I could take her in, and that more people felt that way. Instead many would rather judge...such a sorrow.
Dear T.J.:
Have Jamie call me. 573-334-4439 Today.
Habitat for Humanity can build and sell her a house, a 1,100 sq. ft. new highly energy-efficient new house with new energy-efficient appliances, complete, ready to move in--if she qualifies--and sounds like she might.
Over the past 21 years, Habitat has built and sold 25 houses in Cape Girardeau. Our new goal, set this past January, is to build the next 25 houses in only 5 years. We break ground on one every 5 weeks, and each house takes 16 weeks to build. The next groundbreaking for house #28 is this weekend, Sunday, May 20th, at Marlin St & Country Club Drive at 3:00 PM. And we will deliver house #26 dedication to its new owners, The Dustin Runnels Family, at 748 S West End Blvd on the same day, Sunday, May 20th, at 1:00 PM. Please join us at both ceremonies. It's a demonstration of what we do, and quite a moving experience.
If Jamie calls me, I will offer to help her complete a Habitat Application, and we'll walk her through the entire process. Our Family Selection Committee takes about a month to vet an Application.
T.J., let's be clear, Habitat offers a hand up, not a handout. We do not give anything away.
We gather donations, employ volunteers, build houses--simple, decent, affordable houses. We sell them financed at ZERO interest for 20 years resulting in a cost only 45% of what a similar new house costs. We collect the monthly payments, and re-cycle those payments back into constructing more Habitat houses. Habitat is a Christian ministry that breaks cycles of dependence by creating homeowners living in cycles of independence. Habitat's mission is to create permanent social capital that builds and eliminates poverty housing.
We partner with Big Brothers Big Sisters, who offer to mentor the children raised in our local Habitat houses. This is a formal, cooperative undertaking by our two organizations, to provide solid shelter and to raise children who will become educated and grow up as the solid, productive citizens we need in our community.
There are four requirements: (1) the owner must be a U.S. Citizen, (2) must make between 25% and 50% of the Cape Girardeau County median income of $54,900 (in other words earn between $7.00 and $14.00 per hour including all sources of income for a family of four), (3) must live in substandard housing (a common-sense criteria), and most important, (4) must be willing to partner with Habitat for the construction of their new house. To partner means a family of four works and contributes 350 hours of sweat equity toward the construction of their new house. For a single parent, the requirement is 250 hours of sweat equity. We also provide long term guidance and support with our Family Support committee (composed in part by Habitat homeowners) who guide each of our new Habitat partner homeowners right from the start.
We build the house with our volunteers working alongside the new partner family, but we leave it to the new homeowner with their family to make it their home. We offer long term guidance and support for this process, sometimes for the life of the 20-year loan.
There are no ethnic, religious, age, gender, family structure, marital status, criminal history, or credit history requirements (we are truly an equal opportunity agency in every respect). Qualified applicants are accepted. Those who apply but are not currently qualified, are NOT permanently disqualified. We explain whatever needs to be done by the applicant to qualify, and when that's been done, they can re-apply, which often leads to acceptance. We are part of the solution.
This a long response, T.J. Big problems deserve sustainable solutions. Habitat for Humanity. In the past 31 years since 1976, Habitat completed 200,000 houses housing 1,000,000 people in 100 countries around the world. Habitat is working here in Cape Girardeau for those who are trying to live productive lives.
Our production rate has never been higher, and our doors are open as we strive to help God's people in need.
Best regards,
T. Robin Cole, III
Secretary, Board of Directors
Chair, Development Committee
Habitat for Humanity - Cape Area, Inc.
P.O. Box 1122
Cape Girardeau, MO 63702-1122
Habitat Office: (573) 334-9728
My Office: (573) 334-4439
If there was ever a good candidate for this type of assistance, she's it.
As a reader I have serious doubts about the validity of a story where the main source is not named. Of course I understand the nature of the danger this person may be in, that is if she even exists. This is tabloid stuff and degrades the Southeast Missourian by creating strong emotional responses. How do we know the reporter didn't just make this up? It's not like that hasn't happened before. I remember a famed case of a reporter who won a Pulitzer for her fictional story about a young boy in a life of drugs. Turned out to be completely fake and was a big scandal. I hope someone there is documenting these "anonymous" sources.
If she is looking for a car, I believe there is a program in town called Project Hope that assists in handing out donated cars to people who need them. Here is their website:
http://www.phope.net/contact.htm
Sounds like this girl needs to quit being a "victim" and start being responsible for herself and her child. If she wants a better life for her child, then get out and work for it. Quit asking for handouts. She needs to realize everyone has their on set of issues to deal with. I do apologize for my negative attitude. I guess I'm concerned when names are changed but specific situations are discussed. I'm sure ex and everyone else who knows this girl recognized her. If she is in danger, she just exposed herself. Each time I read the article, it sounds more and more like a scam. I keep going back to the part about her working, but she can't save money. Then when someone calculated how much she would make in 1 month, well then she was just working part time... And she lives 20 miles from her job.. and she only gets 200 bucks a month assistance. She needs babysitting paid for.... Sounds like she has an excuse for everything.....Just another scam.