White entertains Show Me Center with blue comedy act

Friday, October 20, 2006
Comedian Ron White presented his "You Can't Fix Stupid" show at the Show Me Center Thursday night. (Fred Lynch)

Ron White's brand of comedy really doesn't translate well to the newspaper page.

If your grandmother ran across this scotch-swilling, cigar-puffing Blue Collar renegade, no doubt a long and soapy mouthwashing session would follow. Thursday night at the Show Me Center White was his usual self -- explicit jokes about sex and bodily functions coupled with a healthy dose of the F-bomb (if they were timed, he'd probably hit one on average every 30 seconds).

Even giving you a vague image of White's typical comic tools goes too far into indecency land. But this much I can say -- there's a reason White's a pro. There's a reason his comedy brings in millions of fans and dollars. He's good.

Throughout his act, White had the crowd busting up, whooping and yelling for shots of his Johnny Walker Black Label. And these weren't just barflies listening to the man who's trademark is his love of vice -- even families with teenage youngsters were there, and they all seemed to be laughing.

As with every comedy show, White had some help getting the crowd loose. St. Louis native Craig "The Hawk" Hawksley wasn't nearly as funny, or as seasoned, as the man who would follow him on the Show Me Center stage. But the bald, stocky, bulldog faced entertainer won the crowd's heart immediately, referencing the St. Louis Cardinals. After that his jokes about obesity, "dog people" and prostate exams found many fans in the Southeast Missouri audience.

But the loudest laughter the crowd gave up for Hawksley was a dwarf in the face of a 14-foot-tall grizzly that is Ron White.

White's set was long, and only a few seconds passed when White's gruff voiced jokes weren't met with major laughter.

He started out true to form, answering Hawksley's introduction. "I don't know how the Cardinals are doing, but if you gave too big a ... you wouldn't be here."

White's next joke was about an extreme makeover show for lesbians, and he just got dirtier from there.

But one moment more than any other showed why White has reached the point of comedy superstardom. The moment was one of his well-known tangential journeys. In a slip of tongue, White started a joke about a USO tour he performed, but called it a "UFO tour."

What followed was several minutes of jokes about a UFO tour. They were probably the cleanest jokes White delivered all night, and they were all improv. He made a mistake and turned the goof into some of the funniest comedy of the night.

More jokes about deviant sex and "Brokeback Mountain" would follow -- you can imagine how dirty they were. But with his "UFO tour," White showed he doesn't have to be dirty to be funny. The Show Me Center agreed.


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