The best of Mom

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Southeast Missourian staff members selected their favorite "momisms" submitted by readers. Gordonville resident Ruth Parker's quote received the top votes from Southeast Missourian staff. Parker will receive a $30 gift certificate to a local restaurant.

The winners

1. "Make sure you have on clean underwear in case you are in an accident." -- Ruth Parker, Gordonville

2. "If you run away again, I'm kicking you out of the house." -- Josh Houseman, Jackson

3. "I'm gonna tan your little hide." -- Taylor McDowell, Jackson

4. "Don't do anything stupid and if you do, you didn't inherit it from me" and "You better not make me say your middle name!" -- Chad Huber, Jackson

5. "You eat those peas -- there are children starving in Africa", "Close that door -- do you think we live in a barn?", "Do you think money grows on trees?" and "So I guess if your friend jumped off a cliff, you would too?" -- Dean Matthews

The entries

Momma always said:

Growing up in rural Cape Girardeau, I remember my mother, Charlotte Dunn, always cautioning me before one of my outings: "Don't play on the railroad tracks, you'll get run over!" or "Never swim in the Mississippi River, you'll drown!"

As we grew older, and began to go to the big city of Cape with our friends and out on dates, Mom loved to remind us in her all-knowing voice, "Nothing good happens after midnight." -- Ruth Glastetter, Chaffee, Mo.

"Pretty is as pretty does," "You can catch more bees with honey," and "I sat up nights and read you books, and you still didn't learn." -- Stephanie Kunefke, Cape Girardeau

"You can love a rich man just as easily as you can love a poor man." -- Susan Brackin, Cape Girardeau

"You just wait til your father gets home!" Then dad would say, "You kids better listen to your mother!" -- Gail Cassout, Scott City

When I would have my feelings hurt by something someone said, my mother (Barbara Popp of Jackson) would always say, "Consider the source!" For the longest time, I didn't understand the wisdom behind those words. I've come to realize she was saying, "Stop and think about who said the hurtful remark and possibly why it was said." -- Betsy Popp Schultz, Midland, Ga.

"Don't make me get the flyswatter" and "Why would you go running unless someone is chasing you?" -- Dan Hecht, Jackson

"Shut the door ... we have flies in the house." -- Whitney Ulrich, Jackson

"You can pick your nose, you can pick your seat, but you can't pick your relatives." -- Katie Brown, Jackson

"However you treat me is not nearly as bad as I will tell your kids to treat you," and "You cannot get away with anything because I did it all when I was your age." -- Brianna Thomason, Jackson

"I had to walk two miles through the woods to catch the bus, so stop bellyaching." -- Amber Britzman, Jackson

"If you get lost, go west. You will eventually get to the beach." -- Jessica Kirn, Jackson

"Thank God you got my good hearing instead of your father's selective hearing" and "If I ain't happy, there ain't nobody happy." -- Hillary Jordan, Jackson

"It's OK to have a bad day, because everyone has them." -- Becca Shelton, Jackson

"Wash behind your ears." -- Brandon Beck, Jackson

"Treat others as you would like to be treated." -- Charly Fausett, Jackson

"If you succeed the first time, pay someone else to do it for you the second time" and "No matter what everyone else says, you will always be my little boy." -- Will Perry, Jackson

"Trust someone with your whole heart until they hurt you ... then get even." -- Rachael Rushin, Jackson

"I brought you into this world, I can easily take you out." -- Megean Lewis, Jackson

If I interrupted when she was on the phone: "If you're not bleeding, then leave me alone." -- Rob LeGrand, Jackson

"Now go over there and give grandma a hug." -- T.J. Smith, Jackson

"If you don't quit doing that, I'm going to take one of you and give the other one a spanking." We'd always say "Take me and give her the spanking." -- Carolyn Pickens

"Don't tell a lie, you'll have to tell three to cover it up." -- Marge Hackney, Cape Girardeau

"Don't be what you isn't, just be what you is, 'cause when you are what you isn't, you isn't what you is." -- Dale Humphries, Cape Girardeau

"On every life a little rain must fall." -- Fran Bock, Cape Girardeau

"I'm going to whip you when I get time." -- Ruthie Smith, Cape Girardeau

"Sweep around your own back door." -- Ruth Dillender, Bertrand, Mo.

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