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Editorial: Perfume assault, Klingon make headlines

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

These items just in from the News of the Weird department:

A Florida woman last week was arrested for basically being the most passive-aggressive woman in the world.

Linda Taylor of Stuart, Fla., doused herself with perfume, sprayed the house with bug killer and disinfectant and burned scented candles -- all in an attempt to seriously injure her "chemically sensitive" husband.

What has become known as "the fragrance incident" took place when the couple discussed separating, which caused the woman to go into a frenzy, spraying various chemicals all over the house.

Police have charged her with aggravated battery.

In a separate case in Oregon, a story last week started like this: "Position available: Interpreter, must be fluent in Klingon."

That's the language created for the Star Trek TV series and movies. It is also a language spoken, apparently, by several mentally disturbed patients who are being treated in Multnomah County.

For some patients, the language -- designed to have consistent grammar, syntax and vocabulary -- is all they speak.

For a while, the county was looking for a Klingon interpreter to help officials communicate with the patients who refuse to speak any other language. Does this sound like a good use of tax dollars? Thank goodness it didn't to some red-faced county officials who were embarrassed by tongue-in-cheek headlines all over the country after The Associated Press sent out the story.

Klingon interpreters.

And a spurned woman intent on an olfactory assault.

Sometimes the truth is strange. And humorous.


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